Soulful Sunday

Holy Week: Saturday's List of Worship

Here is my Spotify playlist for Easter this year! Meditate and Celebrate!

1. The Earth is Yours- Gungor
2. How Great Thou Art- Sandi Patty (hands down, favorite hymn and artist)
3. Our God (Album Version)- Chris Tomlin
4. Jesus Paid It All- Chelsea Moon
5. What Love is This- Kari Jobe
6. Rhythms of Grace- Hillsong United
7. Brokenness Aside- All Sons and Daughters
8. Beneath the Cross of Jesus- Chelsea Moon
9. Like A Lion- David Crowder Band
10. Scandal of Grace- Hillsong United
11. Because He Lives- David Crowder Band
12. Alive- All Sons and Daugthers

Holy Week: Who is Jesus?

Today's post is a reflection on Good Friday. I had the privilege of teaching the Good Friday lesson to my class so I've been meditating on it this week. Miss LE led a great lifegroup lesson this week too, so I've really been looking at Good Friday with different eyes this week.

1. Jesus was SEPARATED. When I started teaching the salvation message to my class this year, I stressed that humanity is separated from God by sin. As I've studied Isaiah, I realize how holy God is. We cannot measure up to this holiness on our own. If we try, our works are like garbage to The Lord. We need Someone to bridge out separation between God and humanity. God sent Jesus to provide that bridge. What is mind blowing is that Jesus had to separate Himself from everyone, including His Father, to accomplish this. He first become separated from His followers through the arrest and trial. Then during the crucifixion He is separated from God. He has all of humanity's sin upon Him. The weight is so heavy, He uses the Psalms to express the separation: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus uses these words not as a question out of anguish, but as a sign that He is now separated from God. Wow. Jesus willing chose to be separated from everyone He love for us. What a sacrifice!
2. Jesus was WOUNDED. As I've been going through Captivating, I realize that I have wounds in my hearts. These wounds come from life. I've struggled in my healing to understand why God would have allowed these wounds in my life, especially wounds from other people or situations. God has been very clear that these wounds I have are not only to be healed but are going to be used for His glory and purpose through ministry to others. I confess I did have a moment of crying out to God and complaining out some wounds. But God has shown me very clearly that wounds are not bad. Yes they are painful, but He is the Healer and restorer. As I was studying this week, it hit me: Jesus was wounded as well. The cross gave Him wounds on His hands, feet, and side. The cross gave Him a wound for humanity as He suffered the weight of sin and death upon His soul. The physical wounds didn't go away in His resurrected body either. There were there as a testament to the fact that God used the wounds to produce the great glory of bringing humanity back to Himself. If God did not spare His own Son from being wounded, then who am I to complain about mine? Instead, I will turn to Him, and allow Him to heal me and trust the greater purpose He has for me.
3. Jesus showed GRACE. The crowds were filled with hate. The people beat and threw insults on Jesus. One of the thieves on the other crosses mocked Him. I don't know about you, but Jesus showed grace to all of the people in a way I could never imagine. Instead of calling down some kind of punishment, Jesus asked for them to be forgiven. That is the ultimate picture of grace. To show kindness when it is undeserved.
4. Jesus showed LOVE. "For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame... "(Hebrews 12:2 NIV) Who was the joy set before Him? The joy was us. As He was suffering, He focused on His love for all of us. Think about it. In His greatest suffering, Jesus was thinking of you. You were the joy. He endured the separation, the wounds, the agony all while thinking of you. His love for you made it worth it to Him. Wow. I can truly say that Love trumps all other love on Earth. There is no other Love like Jesus can give you.

May this Good Friday be a day where you take time to reflect on what Jesus did. May it be a time you spend thanking and worshiping Him for His Ultimate Gift- life.

Holy Week: Who is Jesus?

Jesus by the Jesus Painter

     Today's post is about one of my favorite miracles that Jesus did while on Earth.  I think the reason I love it so much is because I find it to be true of God's nature and of human nature.  In John 11, we find that Jesus' close friends, Mary and Martha, have sent word to him that their brother, another close friend of Jesus, was very sick.  Mary and Martha's special relationship with Jesus allowed them to know the truth, that Jesus had God's power, that He could do anything.  They knew that Jesus could heal their brother.  Talk about being filled with faith!  Jesus responds in an interesting way, "This sickness will not end in death.  No it is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it.."  But instead of leaving where He was at, Jesus stayed for two more days, in which Mary and Martha's brother, Lazarus, dies.  Whoa!   Stop and let that sink in for a moment.  Here are Mary and Martha,  having a bold, faith filled prayer to ask Jesus to heal their brother.  Jesus promises them that it wouldn't end in death.  But then Lazarus died.  Have you ever had that situation?  You had so much faith that God would come through on something for you.  Maybe it was a job.  Maybe it was to restore health to someone.  Perhaps it was for a relationship.  Whatever it was, the situation did not turn out at all like you expected.  Then what happens?

    Like Mary and Martha, when Jesus arrives in Bethany, we come to Jesus with a broken heart.  We are disappointed that God did not answer our faith in the way we thought.  We might be angry, we might be sad, and we might even be doubtful about God.  We may even avoid God because we are not sure if He can handle our emotions.  But look at what Jesus says to Mary after seeing her broken heart and weeping, "Where have you laid him?"  They walk over to Lazarus' grave and then Jesus weeps with the sisters.  Jesus demonstrates the words in Hebrews that we do not have a high priest that is unable to sympathize with us. Jesus demonstrates to us that when things don't go as we expect, He is not a far off God that leaves us on our own. No, He is right there beside us, weeping because our hearts are broken. He never leaves us, but is right there.
Then the Glory of God is shown. Jesus then gives thanks to His Father and the calls Lazarus back from the dead. The astonishment rippled through the observers. You see, Jewish tradition taught that after three days, a person's soul officially was gone from the body. Lazarus had been dead for four days. Jesus' miracle demonstrates that nothing is too impossible for God. Can you imagine the crowd witnessing it? I don't know about you, but for me, it would have made me realize that Jesus was who He said He was- the Son of God. It speaks to the power of God, and I believe is even a greater testimonial than if Jesus had healed Lazarus from his illness. It gives me great comfort to know that the ultimate goal in life is to let God's glory shine in the best way to let others believe in Him.
Back to that prayer request that you feel is dead. Back to the disappointment that you feel because things didn't happen the way you expected. Turn to Jesus and tell Him how you feel. Then give thanks to the Father that you know this situation you are in will not be wasted. God's glory will shine through in the best way. Put your hope and trust in that. Romans 8:28- "And we know that in ALL THINGS God works together for the good of those called according to His purpose."

Holy Week: Who is Jesus?

   

Jesus by the Jesus Painter

 Today, I want to focus on Jesus' kindness.  Perhaps, through this story you can find yourself.  Perhaps you can see that you are not far from healing, even if it seems like you have been suffering a long time.  Where ever you may be, I pray that above all, you see Jesus' kindness in this encounter he had on earth.
      Before we get into Jesus's encounter, we have to have a brief Biblical history lesson.  I know, I know.  Total snoozefest for some of you.  But trust me, you have to KNOW in order to SEE.
      Women during the time of Jesus had very specific roles to play.  They were homemaker, wife, and  mother, which often made them the voiceless gender.  Jewish women were under very specific guidelines according to the laws given in Leviticus.  Because women experienced monthly bleeding through her periods or childbirth,  the laws provided a way for women to become clean again. Let’s read these laws in a paraphrase from the Message:
          Leviticus 15:19-30:  "When a woman has a discharge of blood, the impurity of her menstrual period lasts seven days. Anyone who touches her is unclean until evening. Everything on which she lies or sits during her period is unclean. Anyone who touches her bed or anything on which she sits must wash his clothes and bathe in water; he remains unclean until evening.   "If a man sleeps with her and her menstrual blood gets on him, he is unclean for seven days and every bed on which he lies becomes unclean. If a woman has a discharge of blood for many days, but not at the time of her monthly period, or has a discharge that continues beyond the time of her period, she is unclean the same as during the time of her period. Every bed on which she lies during the time of the discharge and everything on which she sits becomes unclean the same as in her monthly period. Anyone who touches these things becomes unclean and must wash his clothes and bathe in water; he remains unclean until evening. When she is cleansed from her discharge, she is to count off seven days; then she is clean. On the eighth day she is to take two doves or two pigeons and bring them to the priest at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. The priest will offer one for an Absolution-Offering and the other for a Whole-Burnt-Offering. The priest will make atonement for her in the presence of God because of the discharge that made her unclean.”  
        Women would be considered unclean during the duration of a period, even if the blood did not touch anything.  By simply sitting on a mat or sleeping on her bed, those items were considered unclean and not to be touched by anyone wishing to remain pure.  To become clean again, both men and women would go to the mikvah, which is basically a shallow pool often near the temple and bathe.  Once a women’s period was over, or she finished her allotted time after childbirth, she would go to the mikvah to bathe and pray.  This action signaled to her family that she was clean again.  The places she sat upon are no longer unclean, she could go to temple, and her family could touch her.
     OK, so are we all caught up on our Jewish law?  Basically if a woman was bleeding, she was unclean, which meant that she was not a part of everyday society until she was clean once again.
     Which brings us to our story in Luke 8:40-48.  We find Jesus at a height in his popularity among the people.  Word had spread about this amazing religious teacher who spoke with such wisdom and also had the power to heal people from all kinds of conditions.  Jesus and his group were on their way to visit a family whose daughter was very sick, on the verge of death.  You can imagine the crowd surrounding him as he traveled, with people following, just desperate to get a glimpse of Jesus.  There was poor woman in the crowd who had lived a very isolated life for the past 12 years because she had a  bleeding condition that would make her unclean in society.  If she had a family before her condition, they probably did not have much contact.  Luke writes in verse 43 “that no one could heal her.” She probably had spent many years looking for someone to help her.  You can imagine that when she heard about Jesus, a hope was renewed.  She went to find Him, and knowing that he couldn't touch her because of the Law, she chooses to touch the edge of his clothing, hoping to finally be healed.  In response to her doing this, Jesus wants to know who touched Him because he felt his power heal her.  The women comes forward, probably very fearful that her secret would be exposed.  She explains what happened. Jesus, responds to her in KINDNESS!  He tells her that her faith has allowed her to be healed.  He then says she can go in Peace.  Jesus doesn't add to her shame, but has not only healed her physically, but emotionally as well.  She can now have a peaceful life. Remember, he is the PRINCE OF PEACE.   Jesus doesn't reject her for her uncleanliness nor get upset because she didn't follow the law in Leviticus.  He also doesn't let her encounter stop him from where he was going.  He doesn't stop and go to a mikvah because she touched him before continuing on his mission.  Jesus lets this interruption become an example of God’s kindness to all of us.
     Where do you need Jesus' kindness for your life?  Is there a wound you have been carrying around for the past twelve years?  Do you need to just reach out and touch Jesus?  Do it today.  He will show you love and kindness just like He did for the bleeding woman so many years ago.  He can heal you, just believe.

Holy Week: Who is Jesus?

Jesus by the Jesus Painter

     Today I want to discover who Jesus is.  If you have been around Christianity for any time at all, you probably have heard the verses that reference the prophecies of the Messiah.  I think since I've grown up in Christianity, sometimes I have a tendency to breeze through the verses without giving them a second though. However, as I've studied Isaiah, some specific names that Jesus is called, really hit home with me.  I hope that you can see them in a new light and claim a new truth over your life.

                  "...And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of      Peace."- Isaiah 9:6 (NIV)

1. Jesus is the WONDERFUL COUNSELOR.  Do you have worries?  Are you facing a big decision and need guidance on what to do?  Turn to Jesus.  Tell Him all your concerns.  Think about it.  Jesus is part of God, the God that we sing "Into the darkness you shine, out of the ashes we rise, there's no one like you."  There is no one like HIM.  He is the creator of the universe.  He has created you and ordained all of your days.  Who is the most reliable to take away your worries and help you face your decisions?  What a privilege we have to have the God of the universe as our wonderful counselor.  He will guide you in the right way.  Trust.
2. Jesus is the MIGHTY GOD.  Jesus has the power and strength of our God.  This is the same God that created the universe and also healed people from all kinds of aliments.  This is the same God that rose from the dead.  Can you believe that this God, this powerful God, He is on your side?  Can you believe that He is your strength? Wow.  How amazing is that!  He is your strength when you cannot go on in life.  He is the healer.  He is working all things for your good.  Believe for His power to work in your life.  
3. Jesus is the EVERLASTING FATHER.  What does the job description of a father mean to you?  Probably some one who protects you, takes care of you and love you.  Jesus  is that for us.  Even if we haven't had a positive relationship with our earthly father, or if he is passed away, we can can rest in the arms of our Everlasting Father.  He will protect, provide and love you.
4. Jesus is the PRINCE OF PEACE.  I don't know about you, but this gives me great comfort.  This world is filled with many things that seem crazy today.  And I tend to get myself worked up into a mental frenzy over the littlest things.  How wonderful it is that when we find ourselves lacking peace, we can just go to the Prince of Peace and He will give us His peace that passes all understanding?

Who is Jesus?  This is my Jesus.

Holy Week: Who Is God?

Jesus by the Jesus Painter

     One of my favorite times of year is upon us.  I know that the majority of people get pumped up about Christmas, and while I do enjoy that holiday, Holy Week and Easter are my favorite.  Probably because I feel like that it is the one week of the year that TRUTH shines bright and you can't deny it.  Sure, you can try to cover it up by chocolate covered bunnies and savvy marketing, but you can't deny the truth:  Easter is a holiday that shows the world the truth about God.  This week, in honor of TRUTH, I'm devoting my blog to the love of my life.

    God laid on my heart a few weeks ago to journey through the book of Isaiah with Him.  Now Isaiah would not be my first choice for a quiet time study, but it is just blowing my mind away with truth about God and myself.  It definitely is re-calibrating my heart to the rhythms of His love and grace and providing my heart with some much needed healing.  Here are some truths that God has laid on my heart about who He is:

1. God is PURE (Isaiah 1:25).  When we sin, God is clear that He will clean us and purify us because that is His nature.  Sometimes that purification process involves God doing a purging of things in our lives.  While it can be painful to let go of sin habits that keep us separated from God, take comfort that the discipline will only make us more like Him.
2. God demands our UNDIVIDED hearts (Isaiah 2:22).  As the first commandment states, "You shall have no other Gods before god."  How easy it is to divide our hearts these days!  We may not do it with a carved statue that we bow down to, but it can subtly happen with our culture of busyness, comparison, and perfection.  We may be so focused on something else that we lose sight of our God, even if that thing we focus on is a good blessing from God.  God wants us to seek Him with our whole hearts.
3. God is a PROMISE KEEPER (Isaiah 3:10).  God makes promises to His people, and if we are faithful and obedient, He will bless us.  If you are going through a difficult time and you feel that God has forgotten you, take heart.  He has overcome the world and will reward your faithfulness.  Keep pressing onto Him even when it looks impossible.
4. God is HOLY and we are NOT (Isaiah 6:5).  When Isaiah comes into the full presence of God, he cannot keep from crying out about his uncleanliness.  Lately, I've found the more I've allowed God's presence into my heart, the more I feel absolutely wrecked.  I am not worthy of His lavish love.  But because of His Kindness, His Grace, I am made clean, just as Isaiah was, and can now stand in a relationship with THE HOLY GOD, even when I am not.
5. God is my SALVATION (Isaiah 12:2).  I love this verse so much!  It reminds me that God is my salvation...He has redeemed me for eternity.  The next line cuts right to all the worry and control I try to have over my life:  "I will trust and not be afraid."  If I can trust God with my eternal salvation, then I can trust Him no matter what life throws at me.  I can live my life outside of fear, because I know that God will take care of me.   

Soulful Sunday

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I love this song so much....I can't even explain it.  It is a total expression of my heart right now...love love love it.  Thank you Jesus for providing Hillsong United with the words my spirit wanted to express to You.  "My trust is without borders!"

Saturday's List

Still counting gifts...here are some from the past month:

1. Finally having the opportunity to see Les Mis with The Nurse, her fiancé, and Miss L. I loved this book when I read it back in high school. Hugh Jackman did a fantastic job as a man changed by Grace.
2. This quote: "From a bit of rejection, Satan can get anything from a mile of discouragement to a thousand miles of despair."- Beth Moore. It has helped me in the healing process of some old soul wounds. I am learning to run to Jesus and let Him bind up my brokenhearted spots and change the despair into hope.
3. I had two dads come and eat lunch with their children one day. I've seen dads come and pick their kids up from school, and I even had two dads come on our field trip. I am thankful to see so many dads actively involved in their child's life. It makes such a huge and lasting impact.
4. One night before serving in LifeKids, Miss LE and I prayed before it started for some very specific things for the babies. And God answered all of them more than we could imagine!
5. Being silly and watching "Pitch Perfect" after Miss M's acaawesome recommendation. I needed that laugh!!
6. I locked my keys in my car at Miss LE's house. No big deal, except that it was midnight. I was really, really hard on myself about it. Miss LE told me to look at what I could be thankful for: 1. I was at a friend's house, so I wasn't out somewhere. 2. We got to have a good old fashioned sleepover! All very true. And then since Miss LE lives over by a Dunkin Donuts, I got to have a donut the next morning. So three thankful things out of a situation I probably would have stayed annoyed for a long time about.
7. God was with me and I was able to cook green eggs and ham for 15 little hungry kindergarteners. I've never cooked for so many people before. However it went smoothly and we were able to have lots of fun on Dr. Seuss day! (I'm not sure what that experience will be used for later. Maybe I'm going to adopt/foster fifteen kids?)
8. Thankful that I had an impromptu lunch with Miss A this week. It's so nice to reconnected with kindred spirits. She even blessed me with some BB cream to try and some funky nail polish. She reminded me of some gifts God has blessed me with in His relationship with me. And we had a really good talk about women's roles in the church and Rachel Held Evans' new book. I'm intrigued to read it, because while I do enjoy her voice on things, I also don't agree with other beliefs she has. But I'm willing to read and see what she has to say.
9. I had a whole day off this week from teaching and tutoring this week. It was great to spend time with Mom and do some shopping. I found an Easter/wedding attending dress, which was great! And when I paid for it, it was another 40% off, which made my clothing budget really happy!
10. The biggest thing I've learned to be thankful for this month is that God has called me into a desert of sorts. Even though I've had some time to connect with friends, for a 'feeler' who had one of her top love language as quality time (the other is words of affirmation), it just hasn't been enough. Spring Break sort of helped, but then I had a paper to write for my Christian teacher certification, so I had to cancel lunch plans and other hanging out plans. Not to mention that working two jobs has limited my social time. (I'm not lamenting...I just keep telling myself Dave Ramsey's motto "Live like no one else now so I can live like no one else later.") so as a feeler, I just felt dry and empty as far as relationships go. But God has whispered to me that this time is for Him. Time to be focused on Him. Time to recalibrate to those rhythms of Grace. He has promised me over and over again these past few weeks that if I'm still, he can do his work in making a new way in my desert life right now. Just like the verse in Isaiah 43:19- "For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." I do see things that have given me hope that God has begun to do a new work in my life. Normally, I would be a stiff-necked Israelite and not happy about this desert situation. Instead, I am opening my hands of thanks and trusting that God is doing what he promised...making a new river in my desert life.

What I'm Listening To Wednesday

Ah Coldplay.  I've loved them since my freshman year of college.  Such good music.  This is one of my favorite songs and the video is just so creative.  Plus it has a superhero wearing Converse and butterflies.  What more could a girl ask for?

Tunes on Tuesday: 139 Gateway Worship

Whatever you are going through, take some time to listen to this praise, then go and read Psalm 139.  It is right there in His word, He knows all of your days.  If you are in a string of hard days, know that He is right there with you.  He has not forgotten or abandoned you.  He promises in His word that He will use all things to work together for your good, which means His Glory (Romans 8:28).  God sustained Noah for more than 150 days on the ark (Genesis 7-8). He will sustain you as well!  If you are covered in blessings, and it seems that His wonders never cease, the stop and take a moment and return to Him and be thankful.  Don't live the blessing and forget the One who has the power to bless you (Luke 17:11-17).  All good things come from Him, the One who knit you together in your mother's womb.  Delight in these truths from His word for your life today.

Thoughts Running Through My Head...

Just wanted to give you a sample of the thoughts that run through my head sometimes...

            We have a Keurig machine at school in the teacher's lounge.  Now I had never used one before this school year, but it is wonderful!   Especially because I can bring the flavor of coffee that I like, make my cup,  empty the Keurig and its clean for the next person.  No old coffee sitting around for the whole day!  Anyway, I'm totally in love with this machine and the ease of it so much, that I had this conversation with Miss LE a few weeks ago.

• Me:  I just love the Keurig at work!  In fact, I had a genius idea for one.
• Miss LE:  What is it?
• Me:  Well, I would get a different bedside table.  Then I would put a Keurig there.  In the morning, all I would have to do when I wake up is to roll over and turn the machine on.  Then while I had my quiet time in bed, I'd have a fresh cup of coffee right there.  It would be awesome!
• Miss LE: uh...
• Me: What, is that the height of laziness?
• Miss LE:  Maybe...

The more I thought about it, the more "having-a-Keurig" in the bedroom, sounds a lot more like this:

Maybe I'll forgo the Keurig in the bedroom idea.  After all, I don't want to have to call into work because I burned my foot on the Keurig.

Soulful Sunday

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, this old Irish hymn is one of my absoule favorites!  It means more to me as I'm learning to live by Faith and not my control or out of my worry.  Lord Jesus, be thou my vision!  (You might see some artwork with these lyrics soon!)


Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Words: Dallan Forgail (8th Century)

Saturday's List

Prayer Requests

1. My dear friend, Miss LE, has a really bad UTI. Please pray for healing.
2. My friend, Miss K's eldest daughter is on her first overseas mission trip. Prayers for both of them!
3. Prayer for my Compassion kids: David and Maria
4. Prayer for the Nurse as she is preparing for her upcoming marriage.  And for her future Hubby too!
5. Prayer for me as I dive deeper into Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.

I Love to Laugh

(If you don't know this movie or this song, then I'm not sure we can be friends!  "I Love to Laugh," Mary Poppins, 1964)

     I love to laugh.  It is why I pick most of my friends.  If you make me laugh, I'll probably be your friend.  BUT, if you let me act ridiculous around you, then I'll be your friend for life.  Last week, I posted about my Aunt Milda and her love of laughter.  I'd like to think that is who inspired me to always look for laughter!  In fact, those 'qualities-I-want-in-a-spouse' list always has sense of humor under devout Christian.  After all, you spend you're going to spend a lot of time with that person, so you better be able to laugh.

    On this journey of being pursued by God, I've experienced lots of things that have made me smile, but nothing like the out and out laughter of this week.  Tuesday, our kindergartners went to the science museum.  Now while I enjoy a good museum, it was so much fun to see and hear it with the eyes of a child.  I cracked up as I experinced a "tornado" and "solved" a crime, all while being led around by some of my students.  I laughed at the kids who got to "launch" into space!  Everything was fun and exciting. Wednesday, I had to stifle my laughter when one of my student inadvertently  made me crack up during Bible. Thank you for giant Bible pictures to hide behind.  Thursday, I had to deal with a real-life "Kindergarten Cop" scene, as well as humor some faux glasses wearers.  At tutoring this week, I have had so many chuckles and laughter. My lifegroup always brings a smile to my face, especially when we all speak before we think! Then I was cracking up with Miss LE on the phone while joking with her that her future son should be named Ulysses.  God definitely has pursued me with laughter and humor this week and I've delighted in every moment!
    I know none of the above mentioned items probably made you laugh or smile.  In fact, a lot of it is a total you-had-to-be-there moment.  However, I encourage you to go out and laugh!  Go find what what makes you smile!  Crack up so hard that you snort or cry or my favorite: BOTH!  Look for the humor and sing with me, "I love to laugh...hahahahaha!" Just like Mary Poppins and her crew rose to new heights, so can you too!  

Proverbs 17:22

The Message (MSG)

22 A cheerful disposition is good for your health;

    gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.

My Master Is...

"We would say in the terms of Romans 6, "Serve the right master.  Link up with Righteousness."  You see, before the Savior was present in our lives, we had no choice.  We were all trapped under the ice.  Breathing free wasn't an option.  There was no way we could find freedom, no way to enjoy the ocean depth of righteousness.  We were enslaved to wrong, lawlessness, selfishness, wicked choices, and impure motives.  When Christ came, He freed us, leaving us with a choice.  We can choose Him to be our Master, or we can go back and choose sin to master us."- Charles Swindoll, The Grace Awakening

     Romans 6 has been a hard chapter for me to swallow.  You see, in my journey to release control, God has shown me that I am a chronic worrier.  I've tried for years to not be a worrier.  In high school, I shared my concern with my youth group, and one of my sweet friends shared with me Philippians 4:6-7.  In college, the worry became such a problem, I read through a devotional called From Worry to Worship.  In both cases, it seems that the worry would die down and be replaced by God's peace about things.  However, in the past few years, instead of trying to approach my worry from a Godly perspective, I've tried to control things over and over again.  I felt that if I was in control, I wouldn't have a thing to worry about.

     While I was reading The Grace Awakening, Swindoll devotes an entire chapter to deconstructing  Romans 6 for the grace filled believer.  The last two sentences of the quote I shared have hit my heart in many ways.  You see, I have lived my life believing the lie that because I've been a worrier all my life, I will continue to be a worrier all my life.  It is my nature.  But as Swindoll states, I actually have a choice.  Do I choose to let worry, which is a sin, master me?  Or do I choose Christ to be my master?  Right now it it seems impossible that I could be free from the master of worry.  But as I wrote about on Monday, our God is the God of impossibility.  The more I chose to focus on Him and let His power transform me, the more I am freed from my old master.  It won't happen overnight, although I wish it would.  But just like I have learned to have a heart full of eucharisteo, I can have a heart free from worry.  I can have a heart mastered by JESUS!

What I'm Listening To Wednesday

Unlike the majority of America, I don't watch American Idol, so I had no idea who this Phillip Phillips guy was.  In fact, if you would have told me that I would love this song from a guy who was on American Idol, I would have laughed at you.  I heard this song though one night while waiting at a restaurant, and thanks to one of my apps, I found out who it was and I have been listening to it since.  His whole album isn't that bad either.  It has been good driving music and I just love this song so much!  Go Phillip Phillips! (It is amazing what you can be open to once you drop preconceived notions.)

Thank You

Teaching kindergarten is often like herding cats. I never really know what goes into their little sponge minds or what they miss because there was something really really shiny on the floor to look at.

The past three weeks in Bible we have learned about Jesus' life on earth with His teachings and miracles to show He is the Son of God. Last week I introduced the idea of grace to the class, explaining it as the teaching manual did: God's kindness when we deserve punishment. The class seemed to really snatch the idea and run with it. I thought the only reason they did was because we have a little girl with that name in our class.

Fast forward to yesterday. I had three friends that landed on a note home to the parents spot due to their behavior. They had turned their behavior around from earlier in the day, but still couldn't quite get it to move their clip all the way up on the top. I was going to write them a note, when the Holy Spirit prompted me to tell them that I was going to show them grace today. There would be no note home.they were genuinely happy. They said I was being kind even when I didn't need to. Then, without them seeing each other, all three came up individually and thanked me for the grace: "Miss L, thank you so much for the grace today," "Thank you for the grace. I'll try harder tomorrow." "Thanks for the grace."

I'm praying that the lesson of showing them grace is more impactful in shaping their heart for The Lord than any note I could have written yesterday. I pray that their thankfulness lays a foundation for them to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

As for me, it impacted me greatly and reminded me that Eucharisteo truly is the gateway to grace and joy. And also to not be so skeptical if their little ears are listening and learning during Bible because apparently they are!

Hope After the Rain

For those of you that were in Oklahoma City this past Saturday, there was a torrential downpour around 2:30 in the afternoon.  I've never seen so much rain pour!  Especially when in the car...it is not my favorite thing to have try to navigate and trust that the road is still there, even when you can't see it.  At the end of the day, God painted a beautiful picture across the sky.  First, the golden sun started to barely break through the grays and the cobalt blues.  My mom called it a "Jesus Returning" sky.  She said she loves it when the sky looks like at any moment He will break through with all His glory.  Then the sky moved from the dusty blues to a brilliant gold color as the sun slowly sank down.  An hour later, this was the scene across this sky.  Isn't this amazing? Name a color in creation, and I'm pretty sure it is in this mind blowing sunset.  This picture doesn't even begin to describe the joy and wonder in my heart as I saw this definite gift from Him to my heart.  Remember my blog last week about masterpieces?  God gave me a wonderful gift after I had a long week of work at both of my jobs and fighting off this yucky virus.  I felt Him telling me, "See, this day started off rainy and cloudy.  You had no idea that I was going to end the day on this note."  God was right.  If you would have asked me at 2:30 if I thought I would see the most brilliant sunset in my life that night, I would have told you that it was impossible.  How could you see such a sunset when it is raining so much you wonder if you would see an ark float by?  But God is the God who makes all things possible!  The sunset was a reminder of His hope after the rains of life.  Even though it may be a downpour in your life right now, He is working to give you hope and a future, more than you can imagine.  Just like I couldn't dream the sunset, we can't dream how things are going to turn out.  We just have to trust and obey His leading.  One day, you will see the sweet and magnificent sunset too.  Just keep believing in the One who will create beautiful things in your life.

Psalm 126

The Message (MSG)

A Pilgrim Song

 It seemed like a dream, too good to be true,

    when God returned Zion’s exiles.

We laughed, we sang,

    we couldn’t believe our good fortune.

We were the talk of the nations—

    “God was wonderful to them!”

God was wonderful to us;

    we are one happy people.

 And now, God, do it again—

    bring rains to our drought-stricken lives

So those who planted their crops in despair

    will shout hurrahs at the harvest,

So those who went off with heavy hearts

    will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

Soulful Sunday

Thankful for this song describing my life right now. The more I focus on God, all the things that I want to worry about fade away. The power of grace overtakes my sin of worry and I don't have to be a master to it anymore.

Saturday's List

Here are some scriptures God's spoke to me in the past few months.

1. Mark 5:36
2. Isaiah 40
3. Ephesians 2:10
4. Hosea 2
5. Isaiah 43
6. Isaiah 52
7. Romans 9
8. Romans 6
9. Jeremiah 18 & 19
10. Jonah 2
11. Matthew 7
12. 1 John 4

Lots and lots of Isaiah on that list. Any insights? Maybe I'll start a study on Isaiah. Anyone know of some good commentary?

Do You Ever Do This?

As God is continuing to interrupt my need for control, one of the ways He has challenged me recently is to let Him direct my quiet time.  Instead of being tied to a reading plan or a devotional, God has challenged me to pray and either let the Holy Spirit provide me with a reference or guide my hands as I open the Bible.  A few weeks ago while I was surrendering my need for control down, God guided me to Jonah 2, which is when Jonah finally surrenders to God in prayer.  Boom!  Just what I needed to hear and learn from.

Now I have always had some trouble sleeping.  I have always had vivid nightmares that would wake the whole house up as I cried out.  When I was younger they had more to do with intruders or being kidnapped.  One time on a trip with my church group in college, I dreamed that one of my good guy friends stabbed all of us with a knife.  I woke up all my friends in my hotel room as well as my friends on the hallway.  Lately my dreams have been very spiritual warfare driven, where I have to fight the devil off or more recently was suffocating me.  Very vivid nightmares.  It is why I don't do scary movies or anything to do with zombies and the like.  I don't need more things influencing me.  In fact, in order to go to sleep at night, I have to have a nightlight on.  While talking with Miss L about all of it, I realized that I have a deep fear of the darkness of night.

Last week, using the "Holy Spirit Guide Me to the Right Words" method, God guided me back again to Jeremiah 18, reminding me that I am just being molded to His desires right now.  I thought that was a nice reminder.  I looked over at the footnotes, and it cross referenced Isaiah 45:9.  I started reading that verse and then continued reading until I came to this verse: "It is I who made the earth and created mankind on it.  My own hands stretched out the heavens; I marshaled their starry hosts." (Isaiah 45:12).  Wow.  Here God is speaking to the people, reminding them that He created everything.  I felt the Spirit tell me to go back to Genesis 1, where God created light from the darkness and called them day and evening.  As I was reading it, I felt God tell me that He has created everything.  He is in charge of it all.  I don't need to be afraid of his creation, the night.  Then He brought me back to one of my favorite verses, Psalm 91: 5- "You will not fear the terror of the night,"  What started as a quiet time devoted to me continuing to surrender control turned into the Lord speaking to me directly on a deep fear inside my heart.  I prayed and thanked God for His powerful words that reminded me that I do not have to be afraid of His creation, He will watch over and protect me.  That night I turned the nightlight off and lay down to sleep, reminding myself that God is in control, watching over me, protecting me, and that the night is part of His creation.

His Spirit can guide you in so many ways.  If I had been too stuck to my quiet time plan, I would have missed on some serious truth to help me win the battle over my fear.  For His word to be effective, it doesn't have to be long extended passages of scriptures.  Those truths God gave me through His word were no longer than an average series of text messages between myself and friends.  Short as they were, they were more powerful than I could ask or imagine.  So far I have been able to sleep at night uninterrupted and without the nightlight.   I challenge you to try this out at least once this week.  Just get alone with God and His word and let Him guide you to the words He has for you to read.  It is powerful, living, active, and yes, stronger than any sword!

Throwback Thursday- Aunt Milda

     Today in social media land, it is "Throwback Thursday."  In my heart, its the birthday of one of my favorite people that lived.  She would have been 97 years old today.  She was my great aunt Milda.  As you can see in this picture of me from the hospital (I was a preemie, by the way, hence the cords and such), we always laughed whenever we were together.  I'll never forget the way she always wanted to laugh and have a good time.  I wish I could take that memory of that laugh and put it on a CD to play out loud for others to hear.  It always makes me happy!

      Aunt Milda was a woman whose life is having a generational impact.  She was married, but never had any children of her own.  She then was a widow.  Yet, she never let any of that steal her joy.  Her house was always welcome for company and she was a wonderful hostess, making sure that you never left her table hungry.   She taught my mom a lot about entertaining, which my mom is passing on down to my sister and me.   She showed me grace in action when my sister was born and I had a huge case of jealousy and was pouting in the corner.  Instead of scolding me, she took me into her lap and loved on me.  She loved the Lord with all her heart.  In fact, some of my earliest God memories involve her, whether it was going with her to church or to see a Billy Graham revival.  Her faith impacts my life daily.  Education was important to her because she was a former teacher, and wanted to make sure that I got an education as well.  She was my first pen pal, the first person I got to understand why written words were important.  I still have some of those letters I wrote to her as a six year old.

    Writing about Aunt Milda is hard for me.  You see, even though she died seven years ago, I can still remember our last moments together in the hospital as I told her good-bye.  In fact, I have tears streaming as I'm typing.  When I was in middle school, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  For  ten years, our family watched this intelligent, fun loving, faith filled person pass from our eyes.  My mom's sister, my Aunt Gail, had the insurmountable task of being her caretaker during this time.  It was hard on her, and hard on me in a selfish way too.  You see, during those ten years, I had important milestones I would have loved for her to be there for: high school and college graduations.  But because of the Alzheimer's it wasn't possible.  After she was moved into a nursing home, I still tried to write to her, especially because I wanted her to know that I was going to graduate school.  I went to visit her on her 90th birthday, the last time I heard her laugh.  Then, just two months later, the Lord called her home.

    When I visited her grave this past summer out in Denver, I realized there are other life milestones I wish she could be here for: The Nurse's wedding, my wedding, if I had children.  I would want her smiling face and laugh, celebrating all these accomplishments.  But God has a different plan.  His plan was that Aunt Milda would have such an impact on my life, that I would then pass her spirit and ways down to the next generation, even if she isn't here in person.  Just like she found joy in me when I was a child, I try to find joy and laugh with my students.  Just like her faith was important to her, I try to be close to Jesus and also tell others about it.  Just like she was a friend to all, I try to include every one. Aunt Milda's life is one that truly demonstrates this verse:   Psalm 78:6- "so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children."  Happy Birthday Aunt Milda!

What I'm Listening to Wednesday

"Flower, flower, don't you worry.  Your day will come before you die."

Another recommendation from Spotify since I love the Civil Wars.  :-) This is such a fun group and I love to see fellow chicks playing the banjo!  You go girls!  Enjoy the Vespers, they are great!

Tapestry of Grace

"Our lives a tapestry of grace

Your hand has weaved together

In You no thread will ever fray

This hope is ours forever

Your work of art a mystery

Beyond all earthly measure

Your love for us a masterpiece

Jesus our hope always."- Hillsong United

     I love art and all its forms.  I love painting and drawing. I can remember sitting in my third grade art class wanting to be an artist.  I remember the art class I took at OU in college, and the professor commenting that I should become an artist.  (Unfortunately for me, that was not what I had mapped on my degree plan at the time.)  I love drama and the theater.  I loved getting up on stage and making others' laugh at my antics.  I still get to use that side everyday when I read stories to my kindergarten class.  I love dance, taking ballet, tap, jazz, and even a bit of hip hop growing up.  I've even been known to dance a little in the car when one of my many jams comes on.  For me, it is easy to understand God as the Creator and Almighty Artist because I can relate to this characteristic.  I am in awe of His beautiful creation constantly. In fact, spring is coming up, my favorite time of year because you can see all the new things He creates.  I've noticed my gift list is filled with God and His creator heart.

     God has been whispering something new to me lately though.  One that I have heard before, but I think He wants me to understand as I am seeking Him more.  Back in September or October, we had a teacher share at staff prayer this verse: Ephesians 2:10-For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago (NLT).  This truth has been everywhere.  Over and over again, God has reminded me that I am His piece of artwork.  He is the Master Artist and He is painting my life story for His glory.  Currently, I feel a little more like this picture:

A giant blob of paint.  It looks like nothing right now.  You might think that it is a group of clouds, snow covered trees, or maybe even the ocean.  It is hard to tell right now what the artist's intention is in this picture.  Would you hang this picture up in your living room or bedroom?  Would it become the central inspiration piece for a dining room?  Or does it look like a giant finger painting that a small child might create, not worth of much else except to the child and perhaps the parent?

Now look at this painting.  This of course is considered one of the great masterpieces of our time.  "Starry Night" by Vincent Van Gogh.  You can look at this picture and see the passion behind his creation of a night in country.  He tried to capture the vividness of the heavens.  The little blob above is a part of this picture.  I took it from the part by the town.  Would you have guessed that blob was part of a masterpiece?  I probably wouldn't have.

     The point that I think God has been driving home to me lately is that even though I feel like I'm a  "blob," it doesn't mean that is what my life is about.  My life, the whole entity of it, is God's Masterpiece.  He has a plan for me, a plan that will showcase His glory to the world if I will only allow Him to be that Master Artist in my life.  I may long for the control of the brush, the control of perspective, but the picture is only going to turn out as a masterpiece as long as I leave it in His hands. He is using the dark and the light points, the highs and the lows, the seen and the unseen to create a masterpiece.  He uses it all.  As the lyrics from "Tapestry" state, "Your work of art a mystery."  Right now, my masterpiece is a mystery.  I am that mysterious work of art.  When will the mystery be solved?  That day that I meet my Jesus face-to-face.  Until then, I have to trust completely in His grace and plan for me.  The Master Artist is at work!

Taking the Mystery out of the Seeking

   Last Christmas, Miss K gave me a metal paper holder that had this verse on it.  She told me that she really felt God lay on her heart that I needed to hear that message of seeking Him. As soon as she shared that with me, I saw or heard that verse everywhere.  Seek Him.  Seek Him.  Over the past two months, I've tried pressing more into Him through all kinds of methods.  I was gung-ho at the beginning of the year to do three Bible reading plans, listen only to podcasts of sermons, and spend at least twenty minutes of my day in a meditative prayer state.  I wanted to do this seeking God business that I kept hearing about.

    Since I am a human being who is not perfect and cannot live up to anyone's expectations, including my own, I failed miserably.  I couldn't follow this plan, which left me wondering, "How can I really seek God?"  I want to press more into Him, I want to know more about Him.  I want to be filled up by Him.  After going through this process of letting go of control, and just letting God guide me, He entered in with His answer.

     At our school chapel on Wednesday, Chris Spradlin spoke.  I knew it was going to be a good chapel, having become familiar with him and his wife through church.  Both of them are great speakers, always sharing the truth of God in a simple manner.  Chris wanted the kids to begin seeking God on their own.  He gave them four easy things, which spoke to me in my own search of the way to seek God.  Here they are:

1. Read your Bible.  (Or in the case of some of the kids, have your parents read it to you.)
2. Go to church.  Learn from teachers there and fellowship with other believers.
3. Pray.  It doesn't have to be fancy, just communication with God.
4. Serve others.  Look around to others and see who needs a helping hand.

     As chapel finished up, I sat there with my mind blown.  Here I was, trying to turn this "seeking God" into a huge mystical process.  In reality, it was simple, uncomplicated, and easy.  I felt God saying, "You are doing that.  You are seeking me.  It isn't going to be complicated, just turn and look to me."  I felt reassured that I am doing the things to continue to seek God.  It isn't about a rigid set of rules on how to find God or learn more about Him.  If we stop and chose a relationship with Him, one that is guided by Him, and not ourselves, we will seek and find Him.  Stop trying so hard like I was, and start making it simple.  He is closer than you think.

Soulful Sunday

I'm pretty much in love with this song...It sounds exactly how my heart feels about Jesus right now!

Saturday's List

Book List

I've decided to keep track this year of the books I'm reading. I think it will be fun to look back on the list at the end of the year. If you have any recommendations, send them my way!

1. The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer: This one was a re-read for me. I loved it the first time I read it because it helped changed me from a "worse case" mindset to one that is victorious in Christ. I read it again on the advice of Miss K, to help get my mind free of Satan's accusations that "I'm crazy." Instead I've found that I have the mind of Christ that is rooted in His word and those words I can use to defeat Satan. Boo-ya Devil!! You better step off!
2. Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll: This was one I was familiar with because my parents read it when it first came out. I actually bought my copy as a gift for a friend who ended up already having it. So you could say it was a total Godincidence I ended up reading it. God really laid it on my heart to focus on grace these first few months of the year. It was a life changing book. I had so many legalistic mind sets dominating my walk with God. Not to mention a lot of past hurts from a lack of grace I couldn't receive that I needed healing for my heart. I can see why its a modern day classic and I highly recommend it.
3. Crazy Love by Francis Chan: This was another re-read. I took away a different perspective of God this time. The first time I read it, I remember my take away was that I needed to love others with more compassion and grace. See the Jesus in other people. This time I was hit with how big and powerful our God is. He is in control of my life, your life, and the entire stretch of time. His plan is not always for what we think is best or for our comfort, but rather for His best and for His glory to be made known. And it redeemed the word crazy for me.
4. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien: I started re-reading this after I saw the movie. I was working through some big personal issues with Jesus and I really didn't want to read a chick lit type book. I figured that it would be fairly distracting to read about fantasy characters of hobbits, dwarves, and Gollum. While enjoyable, as always, Jesus was using the character of Bilbo Baggins to show me my heart of control. Just like Bilbo's reluctance to go on the adventure, I too have a reluctance when God calls to me to come to him. I'd rather stay in my hobbit hole, with the assurance of a second breakfast. But if we step out with God, who knows all he things he could use us for...just like Bilbo. (Disclaimer: unlike Mr. Baggins I do not have hairy feet nor would my height qualify me for hobbit status. It's purely a heart thing.)
5. Pursued by Jud Wilhite: I've just started this little gem. I'm only 20 pages in and God is blowing my mind away. When I was praying about my words for this year, wrapped up in the idea of dependence was the fact that I needed to let God pursue me. When I saw this book came out and had such a meaningful word to me right now, I knew I had to read it. Now, I'll be honest, I haven't been the most gung-ho about it, but I know it's truth will be life changing. Plus, it is endorsed by all of my favorite pastors and teachers.

Your turn. What are you reading this year?

Releasing Control, Pt.6

As I was becoming more aware of my need for repentance for my sin of control, wading through all the muck of it, God whispered His sweet Grace to me.  I felt so disgusting because to me, my sin of control is the worst in my eyes.  I'm trying to do the job of the Supreme Creator of the universe.  Who I am I that I should try to take over?  Who am I that thinks my way and  my desires are better than His ways and His desires for my life?  I am just an extra in the movie of God's life.  I was rolling around in the muck of all of this until last Thursday, when God blessed me with a snow day.

I woke up, reluctant to have my quiet time with God because I just couldn't face Him with the sin of control all over myself.  I felt like I had screwed so many things up with my desires.But God, in His graceful nature, just asked me to come to Him, to fall down at His feet and just experience His love.  I don't need to hide behind my self-imposed fig leaves.  He whispered so many sweet things to me, things to remind me of His love for me.  All I did was to sit and let the Holy Spirit come in and wash over me and make me clean again. Because of the snow day, I was able to sit uninterrupted and unhurried as I allowed healing to take place in my heart.  That night as I went to sleep, my heart was so full and at peace.

A few days later, as I was reading my 1000 gifts list for the year, I saw this scripture on my list:
       He forgives your sins—every one. He heals your diseases—every one. He redeems you from hell—saves your life! He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown. He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal. He renews your youth—you're always young in his presence. (Psalm 103:3-5 MSG)

I've personalized it to make it my own on this journey to release control:
      He forgives your sins Amy, every one, including the sins of pride.  He heals your diseases, every one, including the controlaholic.  He redeems you from hell, saves your life!  He crowns you with love and mercy, a paradise crown for His Beloved Princess.  He wraps you in goodness, you now have a beauty eternal.  He renews your youth, you're always young in His presence, and you can start over because He makes All Things New.