And now for the rest of the story...

Have you ever been caught up in believing a half truth from Scripture?  I have...in fact, for the past five months.  Like scales falling from my eyes, when the FULL truth of Scripture was revealed to me, I could see clearly once again.

Last week I stepped out and did something that is out of my comfort zone.  I joined an online Bible study with a group at www.womensbiblecafe.com.  I felt led to do the Beth Moore study "Breaking Free."  I am in the process of finally letting God in to heal some past hurts and lies I believe and the title caught my eye.  When I found out that it was a study based out of Isaiah, a book the Lord has recently led me to study in my quiet time, I felt that it was the Holy Spirit's confirmation.  I meet with a chat group via Facebook, (which is so not my favorite social media..I like to be a birdie more!) and we discuss the questions and any personal insight and share encouragement.  (2013- Doing unexpected things as an adventure and growing from them!)

Anyway, back to the half truth of Scripture.  I was praying for a blessing in my life.  When it didn't happen, I took comfort in the fact that God's timing is over all in my life.  Ann Voskamp shared her BIL's perspective on looking at God's control even when things don't go the way we hoped in One Thousand Gifts.  Her BIL says that we don't know what will happen, and maybe if we get what we want we will end up with a Manasseah on our hands.  Manasseah was one of the worst kings of Israel.  He, in essence, was saying that since God is in control, perhaps when we don't get what we want and we grieve, God, in His goodness is saving us from more grief and heartache.  I loved that idea.  It brought me so much comfort to my heart over prayers that were not answered as I hoped.  Perhaps God was saving my heart from more potential heartache that would have been disastrous.

Now, just like Satan (which I spit in your general direction...pbbbbt) tried to manipulate the scripture to confuse Jesus, that crafty one has been manipulating scripture while I'm in my desert to confuse me.  Unlike Jesus though, I didn't fight it off because I wasn't equipped.  He started whispering to me that my dreams for my life,those hopes and prayers are "Manasseahs."  The things I desire are bad for me and bad for my life. Otherwise, why would God not have answered my prayers by now on things?  Why am I not living in those blessed places?  Why am I still praying the same requests for 10, 13, even 18 years? Give up those things and move on.  They are no good.  The endless torment went on until I finished my day three in "Breaking Free."  Yes, Manasseah was a bad dude, no doubt.  But look at the rest of the story:  (2 Chronicles 33:13-15) And when he prayed to him, the Lord was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the Lord is God.  Afterward he rebuilt the outer wall of the City of David, west of the Gihon spring in the valley, as far as the entrance of the Fish Gate and encircling the hill of Ophel; he also made it much higher. He stationed military commanders in all the fortified cities in Judah.  He got rid of the foreign gods and removed the image from the temple of the Lord, as well as all the altars he had built on the temple hill and in Jerusalem; and he threw them out of the city.

As Beth Moore wrote, "He has a unique distinction of being possibly the worst and one of the best kings of Israel."  Wow, look at what happened to Manasseah.  He was the worst, but God forgave him, and within that, gave Manasseah a new Spirit.  This new Spirit had a zeal and devotion to the Lord.  As I read that, I felt God just whisper to me, "If I can forgive and change Manasseah, I can change you and I can change those disappointments and situations. Nothing is forgotten.  Keep praying and keep believing as you walk.  Yes, Manasseah was not with me, but look what happened.  Nothing is impossible."

Wow, what would have happened if when I first heard about Manasseah if I would have went and actually looked in God's word for myself about what had happened to him?  Would I have been held captive for these past few months?  Would I have been to the edge of losing hope over things?  Maybe not, because I would have seen that with God, all things are possible.  Nothing is too far removed for His might hand to act on.

My rambling point is this:  when you hear a story or a verse, go read it all in context for yourself.  Am I saying that Ann Voskamp misquoted and misused Manasseah's story?  Absolutely not.  What I am saying is that if I had taken time to read the whole story, including Manasseah's redemption  I would have been able to fight the devil's attacks on my mind off more clearly. Since I've read that truth and let it be known in my life, that nagging voice has left me alone.  The mouth of the lion is shut.  Boom!

Soulful Sunday: The Earth is Yours

I love love love this version of this song.  Maybe it is because I love to experience God outside.  Maybe it is because I love to experience God through the arts.  Maybe because it is Gungor.  Whatever the reason it is, I just know that I could watch this video over and over again and be in a constant state of worship.  Enjoy!

Saturday's List: Week in Review

Wow.  I think that this week has just been one of those crazy busy weeks that ended with me taking a nap for two hours yesterday afternoon.  I am trying to process a lot of things right now, which has precipitated the silence for the past week on the blog.  I'm still thinking and praying about so many things, and it all comes at me in short bursts of thought, so I thought the list form would be perfect for me this week.  If you have any wisdom, insight, or encouragement, feel free to sent it my way!

1. Faith is hard to walk out.  At least it is for me because it seems like I can take two steps towards God and trusting Him, and then those pesky feelings get in the way.  Last week, I felt like God let me to say no to an opportunity to be considered for a position to do a dream of mine: write and create full-time.  I know that without a shadow of a doubt, that it was a no and that I am called to do what I am doing now.  However, as the week goes on, and the feelings try to affect my spirit, I find myself wavering and having to basically have a feelings beat down in my soul.  I will trust God and His words.  The ability to say no to my will and yes to His is the act of submission I didn't think I could do.  In fact, I know that it was only by His grace and strength that I can walk out the faith that God will lead me in life.
2. My heart is torn up about Boston.  Especially now that they have caught the person behind it all.  I just cannot imagine being that empty of love and full of anger that you would commit a horrible violent crime.  And the families of the victims.  So, so, so sad.  I cannot even imagine.  I think for me that this has just been harder to take in light of the violence almost four months ago at Sandy Hook.  And I think that it saddens me even more to know that this is now the world we live.  Christian music artist Brandon Heath tweeted this last night, "My heart hurts for those hurt in the Boston Marathon.  My heart hurts for Suspect #2.  I pray for forgiveness and redemption in all this. I also wonder who we could love better before they are compelled to harm others.  Love is the most powerful, transformative force."  That is what we need to do people, especially those of us that are Christ-Followers.  Forget gun control laws.  Forget the need to limit student visas.  Those things could be ways to be preventive, but its not the true answer.  Instead, let us love one another the way Christ loved us.  When we love like Christ, we introduce people to Him.  When we introduce people to Him, His love changes them.  Let's go out there and be the hands and feet of Jesus to others.  Are we ever going to prevent acts of violence like this again?  No.  We live in a fallen world.  But that doesn't mean the enemy has to win.  Love will win every time.  We just have to be willing to show it to others.
3. Fear cannot live when I worship.  I live here in Oklahoma, in fact since I was five years old.  You would think that I would handle severe storms well and be like other Okies and out watching or amateur storm chasing.  For this girl, its an absolute no way.  I'm pretty sure the fear comes from when I was in kindergarten and there was a tornado while I was at school.  We had to go out into the hallway and duck and cover.  I have no idea if it actually touched down anywhere, but I do remember the fear and panic of something bad happening and I wasn't with my mom.  Then when I lived in Kansas for grad school, I learned the mental security you have by having a basement to go into in your house.  You aren't hiding out in a closet, hoping that you will survive. Last spring as I was driving home from school, I had to out drive some nasty weather, sobbing the entire way.  So on Wednesday when the meteorologists were predicting the tornadopoolza, I immediately was filled with anxiety.  But instead of living in that feeling, I turned on some worship music and read through Mark 4, where Jesus calms the storm and I began praying for God's protection and comfort.  And that peace that passes all understanding came over me.  I am so safe in my Savior's arms.  He will be a shield and my strength.  He will comfort me and sustain me.  The storms changed and God protected us all.
4. As I am writing this, I sit pondering all the things that have happened in the news this week: earthquakes around the world, including here in Oklahoma (where I woke up, registered that it was an earthquake and then went back to sleep.  Twice.); the Boston Marathon Bombing, the tragedy out at the Texas fertilizer plant, the sickness of family, friends and co-workers' families, the Gosnell trial (absolutely sickening), I found myself wondering when it would all be enough.  When would Jesus come back and make things right?  Haven't we all had enough?  And then He brought to mind the images of my students in my class and this verse:  "Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."- Matthew 9:37.    Yes, my heart can be overwhelmed with the fallen nature of this earth.  But my focus is to be in the now, in the present.  And we are still here, still put on this earth to do the good works that He has prepared for us to do in advance.  I need to wake up each morning to be that worker, to be out there, sharing God's love and truth and fighting against the darkness.  
5. I woke up every morning this week with the chorus of "Ho Hey" by the Lumineers in my head:  "I belong to you, you belong to me, my sweetheart."  Such a pleasant song to have stuck in my head!

Well, that is a few of the thoughts running through my head this week.  I'm hoping things settle down and my mind takes a little bit of a vacation!!

Saturday's List: Five Ways I Punched Fear in the Face

If you read or following anything by Jon Acuff, you might know that aside from his famous "Jesus Juke" catch phrase, he also likes to say "punch fear in the face." Here are five ways I punched fear in the face this week:

1. Fear: That I can't hear Jesus' voice and I have no idea what I'm doing in life. Fact: Pastor Craig preached a fantastic sermon on the fact that Jesus is the Good Shepherd. The more time I spend with Him, the better I know His voice. I don't have to know where I'm going, I just have to trust the One leading the way. And thanks to my 2+ hours in the car and my own personal quiet times, I can rest assured that I DO KNOW HIS VOICE! (That last part of me yelling was more for the Devil. Pbbbbt. That Devil I hate.)
2. Fear: God's promises for my life will never be fulfilled. Fact: God's delays are not denials. I was teaching the story of Exodus to my class and the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to this truth: before the Israelites left, things got worse. Moses went before The Lord in anguish, and The Lord reminded him that He would keep His promises. Thousands of years later, we can know that those promises were fulfilled. God is a promise keeper.
3. Fear: I'll always have to live my life with anxiety. Fact: God has shown me that I can be Amy the Faithful. He has confirmed this over and over this week. I refuse to live my life in fear, and instead walk in faith.
4. Fear: Doing what God calls me to do, even if it doesn't make sense will isolate people from me. Fact: Stepping out and trusting God and being open about it has made me more transparent to others and in turn, has allowed for a greater sense of community.
5. Fear: I'm not creative enough to make lessons to sell on Teacher Pay Teachers or to enter any writing contests. Fact: I am creative enough, because God has gifted me in that manner. I've decided that by August 1, I will have a START date of opening my own Teacher Pay Teacher store. I'm also entering Writer's Digest's Inspirational Writing contest in a few categories. Deadline for this one is May 18.

There you have it, five ways I punched fear in the face this week. How about you? How are you going to stop fear from controlling you?

Thursday's Thankfulness

This week has been a hard one mentality. Joyce Meyer speaks so much truth that the true battlefield for our soul is in the mind. After a great Easter Sunday where I felt totes pumped, Monday morning came and poured cold water on my joyful spirit. I can't say exactly what it was that started to dampen my spirits, but it's been a slow whittling away until last night I just felt like I couldn't bear much more.

I woke up this morning, trying to claim Ephesians 1:19-20 over my life, remembering the power of my God. But it was a struggle trying to not be tired and to ignore my throbbing foot from where I dropped my hairdryer on it. On my way to work, I re-listened to Pastor Craig's sermon, "I Am the Resurrection" hoping to have my fire renewed. As the truth came in, the hopeless transformed into hope. Jesus reminded me that His delays are not denials, only a better way for His Glory to be on displayed. A friend texted me that she hoped I would be surrounded by God's love today so I would encouraged.

And then it happened. At 1:00 this afternoon, there was God's love on display on for me...the return of the sun after dark cold rain for the past three days. Whoa...anybody else get that parallel? The Return of the Sun after THREE days? I get chills just thinking about it. My hope became stronger and my heart was strengthened in my faith because of His power. He is with me to win that mental battle and help me press on even when I'm tired. He is my strength and ready to fight for me.

Right after that, God showed me three more gifts: 1. One of my students taught my class and me a math theory called Fibonacci Method. See, kindergartener a can teach their teachers something too! 2. A delicious cookie from one of my sweet students and her family 3. Chilling out to my folk music station on Spotify. The Eucharisteo in the middle of this hard mental week has changed my heart and mind back to my Father. Amen, amen.

What I'm Listening To Wednesday

I'm not ashamed to admit it.  I love "Call Me Maybe."  There is just something so catchy about it, I sadly probably know most of the words.  Here it is in EPIC FORM!  Enjoy!!

Naming is Important

Naming is important. A few years ago, I read a Christian fiction series in which the main character would find the meaning of the names of the women in her prayer group and a verse to give them on their birthday. Inspired by that, when my Lifegroup went on a retreat a few months later, I did the same for each woman. It was a powerful moment that each one of us. It helped us to connect in a deep way.

Lately, God has reminded me if how important names are to Him. In the Bible, there are multiple examples of how He renames His people for a purpose, i.e. Abram, Sari, Jacob, Simon. He gives name to the wrong we do in our lives, sin. He gives different names to His love that shows different sides and intimacies. Even God Himself have different names for the role He is encompassing in the lives of His people, from provider to Savior.

So, naming is important. I've tried to be very purposeful in my things I have to name. For example, the name of my blog come from the meaning behind my first and middle name: Amy- Beloved; Gail- A Father's Joy. I've really worked on remembering those meanings over my life in the past few years. When I feel forgotten or abandoned, I remember, I am named Beloved. I am Beloved by God. When I get disgruntled or complain, I tell myself that I am My Father's Joy. I have the joy of my Lord and it will strengthen me. Lately, I have had a hard time describing this emotion I've felt towards God in regards to my life. It was frustrating me because I knew what I was feeling wasn't a bad thing. It was a sense of gratitude, but bigger than that word. I wanted, I longed, I craved a word to express what I was feeling. Last Friday, I went to a Passover Seder meal by a Messianic Jew (super amazing on other levels...might be some future blog posts). While reading the Haggadah, we read this word: dayenu. The meaning of this word is 'it would have been enough.' As soon as I uttered the words from my lips, I felt a sense of peace as that emotion finally had a name. Dayenu. The Lord offered His Son's life for me. Dayenu. I am redeemed and live in grace. Dayenu. All of that would have been enough. But then, I have a wonderful family. Dayenu. I have sweet friendships. Dayenu. And don't even get me started on the little gifts I receive from God daily. All of that would have been enough, but our God continues to provide over and over, again and again. It's amazing and for me, encompassed in the naming of Dayenu. Now my soul rests for when I get overwhelmed with the blessings, I whisper dayenu and it is all understood.

April Fools Funny

Since today is April Fools' Day, I thought I would post this funny video from YouTube. This elementary Casanova cracks me up! I love the way he describes how you should initiate a conversation with a girl! Enjoy!