Soulful Sunday

I was listening to some old playlists on my ipod this week and came across this song from about five years ago.  I loved it then, and I love it still.  The words are so pure and honest.  It reminds me of a modern day Psalm.  Listen and be refreshed!

Saturday's List

Things I've Learned in the First Two Months of 2014

1. Winter can be really cold. Really cold. Really really cold. Winter is definitely NOT my favorite!

2. Most people think Valentine's Day is for love. Well, according to my kindergarten class it isn't. Valentine's Day is about making everything pink and eating lots of candy. Now that we all know the true meaning of Valentine's Day, let's go forward celebrating pink and candy!

3. Dansko clogs are the best shoe for standing all day long. They may not be the most fashion forward shoe on the planet, but they are awesome for my feet and my back at the end of the day. Plus they provide great protection from accidentally getting stepped on by five and six year olds.

4. Honesty is important and telling only a part of the story has the same impact as lying. As one of my best friends from high school can tell you, I would always say, "Honesty is the best policy."

5. I'm trying to follow a reading plan to read through the Bible entirely this year. It started off a bit different than traditional plans, and I read Daniel first. That is an amazing book and probably one of my favorites right now. Currently though I'm struggling through Exodus. It's been hard for me to read. What is your favorite book of the Bible? What is a book that is hard for you to read?

6. I jumped on the bandwagon and read the Divergent series. I liked the first book a lot, but I was disappointed with the way the trilogy finished. I didn't disagree with the ending but I didn't like the style of writing. 

7. Speaking of reading, I thought I would take some book recommendations. Anything super amazing out there that I need to read?

8. Kindergarteners make me laugh. It is pretty much like those ATT&T commericals everyday. I had a conversation with a few of them the other day that was hilarious. They asked me what I did with my kids at home. I told them I didn't have any kids because I wasn't married. One kid totally flipped out and said, "How are you living? How can you survive? You need a husband to pay for your house and your food." Then another kid piped up, "Miss Leochner is a grown-up, she can take care of herself. She doesn't have to have a husband."  Too funny.

9. We start our Dr. Seuss unit at school next week. This always is a marking point because it usually means we only have three months left in the school year.  Every year, I always start thinking, "This is the last..." or "I really need to do this so they are ready for next year...." It becomes a mixed time of emotions as my time to shepherd them winds down. 

10.  Relationships are important, especially with family. Don't ever forget that. Learn to forgive and love. No one is perfect and if you spend your time looking for perfection or harboring unforgiveness, you might miss out on a rich and abundant life. Love is the answer. 

How is that New Year word coming along?

Hello my friends!

I am back after a long hiatus.  As you may remember, I wrote about having a having a specific word from God to focus on in the new year, and my word is PEACE.  Within the idea of peace, I have listened to God and I needed to take some steps to have a more simplified life, both in my spiritual times and in my physical, waking life.  Hence, the new layout, which I need to do some cleaning up and changes to it so it is completely simple.  I view the new look to the blog as part of a fresh start for 2014.

With the idea of peace, I was really trying to listen to what God wanted me to learn or do about peace.  Instead of instantly walking on a peaceful cloud, God has brought lots of situations in my life where I have had to claim His peace.  I am six weeks into the new year and there is already lots of change happening.  I share with you a few:

1. I stopped serving in LifeKids. Yes, you have read that right.  I was on call as a sub, but things kept happening where I couldn't sub.  After much debate and praying, I feel like I'm on a break from serving in LifeKids right now.  While I enjoyed sharing God's love with all kinds of kids from birth to ??, God has shown me right now I need to be still.  I am ministering to kids five days a week with my job as a teacher.  I was finding it hard to have enough in me to minister six days a week.  God has shown me there are seasons in life, and right now, my season is not serving in LifeKids.  It has been difficult for me to accept because I can't imagine not serving.  In fact, it has felt strange to just go to church.  But I know that God has a purpose and a plan, and if this some how, right now, leads to more peace, then I need to submit to it.  I know that one day, God will call me back to serve and I need to rest now to be ready at the right time.
2. My lifegroup for the past four years has stopped meeting together.  (Notice I didn't say stopped being friends...we have just stopped meeting to study the Word together in a discipleship manner.)  This one was really hard for me to have peace about.  I was fearful I would lose the friendships that I have made.  It still terrifies me a little to think about going to a new lifegroup.  I loved the women that God brought into my life the past four years.  However, it is very apparent that for the majority of the group, God has a new season up ahead for them and frankly, our group just wasn't the right place.  I am thankful for the lifelong friendships I've made and I trust God's guidance for a new group.  I have quite worked up the courage to go to a new one yet.  I did some looking, and really felt like I should look for a co-ed group.  I tried to look at singles groups, but have found that 31 is over quite a few group's age limit.  At the same time, I'm too young for the 'older' single groups that start around 40.  I looked at some of the ones that included both married and single people, but the day or time wasn't right.  So now I'm just waiting and hoping to make a connection to another group.  I know that God is got this, but I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm still anxious about it at times and have to turn to peace from Him.
3. Speaking of peace...I don't know if it is because I know so many people ushering in a new season of life or because Valentine's Day is around the corner and EVERY commercial on TV is about it, but I'm having a hard time finding peace about being single.  I look at my life and think to myself, "God, you know that I've really prayed to have a husband and to meet him for the past seven years.  What is taking so long?"  I have even found myself considering myself a permanent bachelorette.  In fact, the other day, I really found myself making some long term goals and when I finished, I realized that none of the goals really allowed for a husband to be involved.  I even think to myself, "Well this is it.  It is the end.  All those feeble online dating attempts, all the set-ups, they didn't work.  You're over 30 now, in fact, you will be 32 in May, so just forget about it.  If a man your age range wanted to get married, he is going to pick someone in their 20s because that is the way it goes." As you can probably tell, there is no peace there in my heart.  So once again, I'm turning to God to ask Him to get me that peace.

As I reflected on God and His word for me, peace, I realized that He is giving me peace by placing me in situations where I am having to call on Him for the peace.  I'm reminded of the lyric from Oceans, "And I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves.  When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace for I am Yours and You are mine."  Even though I don't know when I can serve in LifeKids again, when I will find my next lifegroup, if I will ever get married, I know God is holding my future in His hands.  If I call on Him, He will let the peace of Christ rule in my heart and that will be enough for me to walk daily through the uncertainty and change right now.

Preparation For The New Year

As I've walked through some really great advent devotional plans to place my heart in God's hands for the Christmas season, I've felt a tugging from the Holy Spirit. The tugging is reminding me that we are on a constant adventure with God as He molds us to His design. Through the tugs, one word, one attribute of God is clear to me: peace. God calls Jesus the Prince of Peace in Isaiah. When the angels announce Jesus' birth, they declare peace on all men. In Jesus' ministry on Earth, He teaches that if we come to Him and walk in His rhythms of Grace, we will have Peace. Even the apostle Paul teaches that when turn our worries over to God through prayer we will have a peace that passes all understanding. 

I started my advent journey with the focus I was preparing my heart for the true meaning of Christmas. Instead, I feel God is preparing me for what I need to focus on for 2014: Peace.

The senior pastor of the church I attend has had his staff participate in a fast and also a word from God for the past few years. He invites the congregation to participate as well. In 2012, I followed a Daniel Fast and spent the year focusing on the word Restoration and the Dry Bones passage in Ezekiel. God was faithful and restored to me dreams about my career and myself. He took me from dry bones to green pastures in 2012.  If you have read my blog this past year, 2013 was filled with the word Eucharisteo .  In learning to be thankful to God for all things, seeing both the good and bad as a gift from God, I've grown to trust and depend on God in a new, stronger way. I also started the year with a social media fast to stop some of the "noise" and refocus on God. 

Back to Peace. I know this is my word for 2014. God reminds me over and over of this word. I definitely am going to spend time in The Word discovering more about Peace. I know I need to be still in front of God to discover what that looks like in my life. I'm definitely thankful that peace is my word. You see, while restoration and Eucharisteo have propelled me to greater growth in God, it has been hard. I feel like there was so much growth, that I feel like a new, different woman. But to reach this point, I had to do all the things God called me to do- like surrender dreams and plans, change my heart, confess my sin, experience freedom. The list could go on. I'm thankful that after all this hard work to be transformed by God, He is now promising peace. I know that 2014 won't be free of change, but I have a feeling it will be peaceful change. I know that I will still be growing, but I think the way it will happen will be in a peaceful manner. I'm excited for the possibilities up ahead!! As for the fast, I know for sure that I'm going to take a break from Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. I may possibly still blog, but I haven't fully decided. What else to fast? I'm still not sure and will be praying what will lead to peace. 

Advent is a time of preparation to remind us of Christ's first coming. It is also a time where we can prepare our hearts to make room for Christ. For me, it is allowing a deeper relationship to grow. But for you, perhaps this is the first time you may have realized there is no room for Christ in your life. I pray that you would surrender to Him now. Open your heart and accept Him as your Savior, your Prince of Peace. 

Trusting God With Everything, Pt.2

Over the next three months, Mary grew in her confidence in what the Lord had told her.  She was to be the mother of the Messiah.  Mary  also grew in her confidence  to take care of an infant thanks to her mother and cousin’s examples.  John was a loud baby, with a cry that Mary was sure drew attention from everyone in the neighborhood.  Mary’s size also grew and it was quite apparent on her small frame that she was expecting a child.  There would be no hiding it from the townspeople in Nazareth when they returned.  Every day she waited for some sort of message from Joseph that said he was going to still marry her after he had heard from God.  Every day, it felt like this hope was deferred more and more.  Mary wished that there was something she could do, but it all came back to her Mother’s words: “We are going to have to wait on Joseph to see where God leads his heart.  Trust God to lead him to the right answer.”

Meanwhile, back in Nazareth, Joseph engrossed himself in his carpentry.  He tried to make time and pray and ask God for guidance about Mary.  Often it became difficult as he would try to logically solve the problem.  He knew that virgin women couldn't get pregnant.  He also knew that he had kept his vow of purity.  Then how could Mary be pregnant?  Unless she had a relationship with another man.  Mary was young and beautiful, it wouldn't be inconceivable that it could happen.  Joseph knew that if he married an unfaithful woman now, he would pay later on.  He knew that it wasn't God’s best choice.  That left only two things; either have Mary publicly stoned when she returned or to send word to her that he was breaking the engagement.  If he sent it to her while she was in Jerusalem, Joseph thought that perhaps she could stay there and make a life.  He decided that he would send a messenger with the word in the morning and then take her dowry back to her father’s house.

As Joseph ate his evening meal, he felt very restless.  He finished eating and then went to sleep.  It took him a while to fall asleep and it too was restless.  In his fitful sleep he had a dream. A large man who was covered in a powerful bright light appeared to him.  “Joseph.  Joseph,” said the man.  “I am an angel of the Lord.  I have a message from the Most High God for you.  Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife as you have planned.  What she told you was the truth.  The child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  He will be a son and you are to name him Jesus because he will save the people from their sins.”

The next day, around early evening, a messenger came running to the house of Elizabeth in Jerusalem.  “Hello, I’m looking for Mary from Nazareth, house of Eli. I have a message for her.”  Mary stepped out into the dusk.  “This is her.”

“Mary, I've been sent to you by a carpenter named Joseph of Nazareth.  He says to come home quickly because he believes and he cannot wait to marry you and become a father to Jesus.”   

Trusting Him With Everything, Pt.1

“Joseph, I have to tell you something.”  Mary looked down at her hands.  “I know that it will sound crazy, but you need to believe me that this came from God.”

                Joseph sat down across from Mary.  He looked at Mary’s face and realized he had never seen so many emotions at one time.  She looked nervous yet there was a light that seemed to glow from within, making her eyes have a peace.  Mary’s mother, Anna, was sitting next to her with her arms wrapped around her daughter.  Eli, Mary’s father, smiled at Joseph.  “My daughter has some very big news.  We hope that this won’t change any previous agreements.”  Eli patted Mary’s hands.  “Go ahead my dear and tell him.  It is your story to tell.”

                Mary looked up at Joseph.  In front of her was the man promised to be her husband.  Joseph was an answer to many prayers.  He was calm and responsible, yet to loved to laugh and enjoy the fellowship of others.  God was very important to Joseph and he never missed a prayer time or the day to go the synagogue.  He was compassionate with all people and generous with his resources, including tithing even though he was just an apprentice. Mary knew that what she was about to share could change how Joseph felt about her and could chose to break their engagement and walk away forever.

                “Mary, what is it?” Joseph’s face was filled with concern.

                “Joseph,” began Mary. “About a month ago, an angel of the Lord came to me.  At first I was frightened,  He was so big and a bright light shown about him.”

                Joseph interrupted,  “You had an angel visit you?  Like the story of our ancestor Jacob and the stairway?”

                Mary grabbed his hand.  “Yes Joseph.  But it wasn't in a dream.  He was right across from me here in this room, just like you are.  He shared with me some of God’s plan for my life.  God has chosen me to be the mother of the long awaited Messiah.”

                “What?  So that means I am the father?  Are you going to become pregnant immediately after we wed in six months?”  Joseph tried to understand what Mary was saying .

                Eli spoke up.  “ Joseph, you are supposed to be a father to the Messiah child.  However, Mary is already pregnant.

                Joseph turned and looked at Mary.  “Wait a minute.  Mary cannot be pregnant.  I've never even been alone with her.  Are you accusing me of something?”

                Anna said, “No Joseph, no one  is implying you are the reason for Mary’s pregnancy.  The Spirit of the Lord came upon her and she is showing all the signs of pregnancy.  Mary is going to give birth to the Messiah.”

                Joseph looked at Mary.  “Is this true?  You are pregnant?  If I am your betrothed, why didn't God visit me too?  Why would He only send an angel to you?”

                “Joseph, please…you have to understand and believe me.  I don’t know why God has only sent an angel to me.  But it is true.  I have been chosen to give birth to the Messiah.  His name is to be Jesus and He is going to do great things- things we couldn't ask or imagine.  God has done the impossible and allowed me to conceive to allow this miracle.”

                Joseph got up and started walking back and forth across the room.  “This is all too much for me to take in right now.  All of it does sound very important to God, but I’m not sure why I haven’t heard anything from Him.”

                Eli stood up.  “ I know that you are going to need time to pray and seek God in what to do with this matter.  Anna has a cousin, Elizabeth, who is expecting a baby very soon.  She and Mary are going to go help for three months.  When they return, you can share what God has led you to do.”

                Joseph turned and looked at Mary’s face.  She had tears forming in her eyes.  “Yes, Eli, I believe that would be best.”  He quietly left the house.

                Anna wrapped Mary in a hug.  The tears were now streaming down her face.  Mary’s heart weighed heavily in her chest. “Oh Mother.  Why would God allow this?  I knew Joseph wouldn't believe me.  Why didn't God wait until after we were married?  Or better yet, why hasn't He spoken to him with another angel?”

                “Mary, I don’t know.  Perhaps God is doing this to draw him closer.  Please don’t doubt God’s timing.  God has a purpose in all of this.  You have to trust what God told you.  You are having Jesus, His Son.  Now whether or not Joseph is the child’s earthly father remains to be seen.  We have to give him time to hear from God.”

“I shouldn't have told him now.  We should have just moved the wedding ceremony to sooner.  I could have told him after it was all over.”

Anna stroked her daughter’s hair. “Mary, you know we couldn't move the ceremony.  We have to go and help Elizabeth.  She has never had a child before and she needs my help.  Plus, it will be good experience for you to see what is ahead of you in the coming months. And, you did tell me that you felt like God wanted you to tell Joseph now.  Don’t doubt it.  We are just going to have to wait on Joseph to see where God leads his heart.”

“But what if he breaks the engagement?  Mother, I almost wish that is what he would have said tonight.  I can’t stand hoping that he’ll believe me and then end up a complete outcast.  Not a fit way for the Messiah to be born- as a social outcast.”

“Trust Mary.  Trust God that He will lead Joseph to the right answer.  You are doing what God has placed in your hands before you.  Now get some rest.  We have a long journey to Elisabeth’s tomorrow.” 

Receive and Prepare

December 1st is here. That means there are 24 days until Christmas. What are you doing to receive and prepare this season? 

Being a woman, I focus a lot on that word prepare when thinking about Christmas. To be really honest with you, much of that preparation doesn't focus on the true part of Christmas- celebrating when my Savior came to earth. Most often when I prepare, it is lists of gifts to buy for others, lists of cookies I want to bake, lists of decorations that may make it out of storage and into the house, lists of charitable donations, lists of plans for Christmas parties, lists of things to do in the classroom. You get the idea. Lots of preparation on the external things, but not a lot of heart preparation. And as far as receiving, well I don't prepare myself to receive anything. Which makes it awkward to get a present, because I answer with the old standard, "You shouldn't have."

As I've counting gifts of thankfulness to God this year, as I've let Him pursue my heart, as I've grown completely dependent upon Him, the Holy Spirit gave me a heart check this year. Amy, what if you stopped focusing on all the external things of Christmas? You know those things will get done. Stop and take some time to be still. Stop to really receive Jesus coming to earth. Like the carol, prepare room in your heart to be filled with Jesus.

This is my focus this year during the season of advent as we count down the days of Christmas. I want to have fresh eyes and ears as I focus on the story of Christ's birth. I want to receive it in a new way, a way to recharge myself. I want to prepare my heart to not be swallowed by busyiness, but to prepare it to be swallowed by the Spirit. Who is ready to join me as receive and prepare this Christmas season? 

Lord, soften all of our hearts to your Son this season. May we all receive your Spirit of Christmas and not the world's spirit of busyiness and commercialism. May we all take time to prepare ourselves to receive the King of Kings in our hearts. In Jesus' Name, Amen.