It is Radiant Shades of Black, White, and Gray

God definitely is continuing teaching me about His sovereignty over all. Last year, He placed quite a few circumstances to help me see things are not always defined in black and white terms, but more often black, white, and gray.  Because of this, and because I often miss the gray area when thinking, I decided to capture any picture that I take for Instagram this year in black and white. I haven't taken many this year, but each time I do, I notice so many variations and nuances in black, white, and gray. Sometimes the images look so different and I see details I would have missed had the image stayed in full color. 

Life is like that for me. If you look at the picture above, I was using these items to begin a new art project. I was experimenting with using some different materials and new ways to manipulate the materials. After I finished, I was frustrated because it didn't look anything like I anticipated. I felt like the project was a failure. I was angry because I wasted time experimenting when I could have made progress on the actual project.  I should have just stuck to what I knew how to do.  After leaving the papers on the floor for a while, I came back and snapped a picture of the pile. I turned the image into black and white and my perspective changed. I could see where I shaded better. I could see the graphic impact of the design better. I could also see where I could improve and modify to create more of what I desired. Instead of feeling like a failure, I saw where I could make changes and go forward in learning.  By seeing the radiant shades of gray, I saw that it was ok that I tried something new. It allowed me to grow in my artistic abilities.

God allows circumstances to come into our lives. Instead of seeing them as black and white, failure or success, maybe it is time to view the circumstances through the radiant shades of gray. What was good about that experience? Where did we grow? What can we take forward with us? I'm reminded of a conversation I had with some of my single friends a few months ago. We were talking about God bringing dating situations into our lives and it not working out like we hoped. One friend made a very profound statement. She said that while meeting this man for coffee could be viewed as another failed attempt in dating, it actually opened her eyes to how mature a Christian man could be, and that is what she was looking for in life. She didn't see the coffee date as black or white, but saw the truth through the radiant shades of gray. Her perspective helped me view my circumstances in a different way. I may think this friendship failure, or this way of teaching math failed, but instead I need to look at the radiant shades of gray and learn.

Where do you need a little radiant shades of gray perspective today? Take a moment and reflect on those things you feel are either successes or failures. Process them with grace and find where you can take those lessons with you into the future.

Soulful Sunday: This is Amazing Grace

My new favorite song about GRACE

Saturday's List

Brought to you by the letter P

1. People: I'm guilty of getting trapped into thinking all about me a lot of times instead of thinking about others. Sometimes I need to step outside of myself and think how I could better love others. Maybe it is some quality time, an encouraging word or an act of service that I need to schedule or do.

2. Perspective. When faced with difficult decisions, I tend to get bogged down in the details and see things from a limited perspective. It is good to stop and ask others for their view points. Often it gives a fresh perspective and decisions become easier to make.

3. Popularity. I used to struggle a lot in school. I never wanted to be popular, but I also never wanted to do something that went against the popular wave. Lately I've struggled with how I view myself because in my eyes, my life is not one that would be popular in American society. It has been a daily struggle to lay it all down and be obedient to God's calling right now.

4. Patience. Apparently I have none. :-) I want things in my life to happen and I'm tired of waiting. Every opportunity feels more like a missed chance. For example, last Sunday night my church offered a connection event for people to find a life group. I thought this was great since I've prayed for a new group. However, the event was really hard for me to meet a leader of a group that would be a good fit. Maybe it is because I'm introverted in situations like that, but by the evening's end, I felt like it was a missed chance.  I guess I just need to continue in patient prayers.

New Favorite Bible People: Bezalel and Oholiab

Exodus 35:30-35 (NLT)

Then Moses told the people of Israel, “The Lord has specifically chosen Bezalel son of Uri, grandson of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. The Lord has filled Bezalel with the Spirit of God, giving him great wisdom, ability, and expertise in all kinds of crafts. He is a master craftsman, expert in working with gold, silver, and bronze. He is skilled in engraving and mounting gemstones and in carving wood. He is a master at every craft. And the Lord has given both him and Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, the ability to teach their skills to others. The Lord has given them special skills as engravers, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple, and scarlet thread on fine linen cloth, and weavers. They excel as craftsmen and as designers.

Have you ever felt like you had a gift or ability that you had to keep under wraps?  You knew it was something you liked to do, yet you felt like you might not be good enough.  Or maybe you wanted to develop the talent but the people surrounding you didn't encourage you to grow in that area.  Perhaps you may have even felt judged for having that desire or talent.

That was how I felt in my heart for a long time about my interest and abilities in the arts.  As a Christian, especially as I got older, I really didn't meet many in my faith community that were supportive of the arts.  Sure, my family was supportive, but once outside of that comfort zone, things seemed uncomfortable.  And of course it became more uncomfortable for me because many in the artistic community couldn't understand why I would incorporate my faith into the arts, that it was too cliche', not edgy enough, like the monologue I did for competitive drama.  I couldn't reconcile the artistic side with my faith, so for a long time, I just ignored it.  

My senior year in college, I took an art for non-majors class and I loved it.  In the class, the professor told us how he incorporated his Native American spirituality into all of his paintings.  A light bulb went off in my head.  If he could be bold enough and do that, then why couldn't I do the same with my Christian faith?  Ever since then, I have tried to do incorporate my faith in various pieces I do.  

Last fall, after being moved by some very spiritually intimate worship music, my soul was stirred to continue to develop this artistic nature through my dancing ability.  I found a local Christian dance studio and enrolled in their adult ballet class.  It has been fun-in fact sometimes it feels like I had memorized ballet so deeply I had never stopped.  (Which I do dream about dancing quite often.)  As I'm learning and developing this ability to worship God, I have felt more at peace with myself.

Now the passage from Exodus.  How does this all come together?  One day as I was listening to my one year reading plan aloud, I was struck by the actual naming of Bezalel and Oholiab and the fact that it says that the Lord gave them their abilities.  It touched my heart.  I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me that God has given me artistic abilities like these two men to worship Him.  I may not be able to sing or play an instrument like most people think what qualifies as worship.  But, I can paint or draw a picture that can express my heart to the Lord.  I can create art that encourages and further's God's mission on earth.  I can dance for the Lord, telling a story of His love and compassion for all.  These are my special gifts and abilities God has given me to worship Him.  Being artistic isn't bad, it isn't a divergent from traditional Christianity.  Just like Bezalel and Oholiab, this is how God made me and I can use it for His Glory.  I will not hide it away anymore!

What I'm Listening to Wednesday...

Happy Wintery Wednesday!  Enjoy!

Soulful Sunday

I was listening to some old playlists on my ipod this week and came across this song from about five years ago.  I loved it then, and I love it still.  The words are so pure and honest.  It reminds me of a modern day Psalm.  Listen and be refreshed!

Saturday's List

Things I've Learned in the First Two Months of 2014

1. Winter can be really cold. Really cold. Really really cold. Winter is definitely NOT my favorite!

2. Most people think Valentine's Day is for love. Well, according to my kindergarten class it isn't. Valentine's Day is about making everything pink and eating lots of candy. Now that we all know the true meaning of Valentine's Day, let's go forward celebrating pink and candy!

3. Dansko clogs are the best shoe for standing all day long. They may not be the most fashion forward shoe on the planet, but they are awesome for my feet and my back at the end of the day. Plus they provide great protection from accidentally getting stepped on by five and six year olds.

4. Honesty is important and telling only a part of the story has the same impact as lying. As one of my best friends from high school can tell you, I would always say, "Honesty is the best policy."

5. I'm trying to follow a reading plan to read through the Bible entirely this year. It started off a bit different than traditional plans, and I read Daniel first. That is an amazing book and probably one of my favorites right now. Currently though I'm struggling through Exodus. It's been hard for me to read. What is your favorite book of the Bible? What is a book that is hard for you to read?

6. I jumped on the bandwagon and read the Divergent series. I liked the first book a lot, but I was disappointed with the way the trilogy finished. I didn't disagree with the ending but I didn't like the style of writing. 

7. Speaking of reading, I thought I would take some book recommendations. Anything super amazing out there that I need to read?

8. Kindergarteners make me laugh. It is pretty much like those ATT&T commericals everyday. I had a conversation with a few of them the other day that was hilarious. They asked me what I did with my kids at home. I told them I didn't have any kids because I wasn't married. One kid totally flipped out and said, "How are you living? How can you survive? You need a husband to pay for your house and your food." Then another kid piped up, "Miss Leochner is a grown-up, she can take care of herself. She doesn't have to have a husband."  Too funny.

9. We start our Dr. Seuss unit at school next week. This always is a marking point because it usually means we only have three months left in the school year.  Every year, I always start thinking, "This is the last..." or "I really need to do this so they are ready for next year...." It becomes a mixed time of emotions as my time to shepherd them winds down. 

10.  Relationships are important, especially with family. Don't ever forget that. Learn to forgive and love. No one is perfect and if you spend your time looking for perfection or harboring unforgiveness, you might miss out on a rich and abundant life. Love is the answer.