Saturday's List: Week in Review

Wow.  I think that this week has just been one of those crazy busy weeks that ended with me taking a nap for two hours yesterday afternoon.  I am trying to process a lot of things right now, which has precipitated the silence for the past week on the blog.  I'm still thinking and praying about so many things, and it all comes at me in short bursts of thought, so I thought the list form would be perfect for me this week.  If you have any wisdom, insight, or encouragement, feel free to sent it my way!

1. Faith is hard to walk out.  At least it is for me because it seems like I can take two steps towards God and trusting Him, and then those pesky feelings get in the way.  Last week, I felt like God let me to say no to an opportunity to be considered for a position to do a dream of mine: write and create full-time.  I know that without a shadow of a doubt, that it was a no and that I am called to do what I am doing now.  However, as the week goes on, and the feelings try to affect my spirit, I find myself wavering and having to basically have a feelings beat down in my soul.  I will trust God and His words.  The ability to say no to my will and yes to His is the act of submission I didn't think I could do.  In fact, I know that it was only by His grace and strength that I can walk out the faith that God will lead me in life.
2. My heart is torn up about Boston.  Especially now that they have caught the person behind it all.  I just cannot imagine being that empty of love and full of anger that you would commit a horrible violent crime.  And the families of the victims.  So, so, so sad.  I cannot even imagine.  I think for me that this has just been harder to take in light of the violence almost four months ago at Sandy Hook.  And I think that it saddens me even more to know that this is now the world we live.  Christian music artist Brandon Heath tweeted this last night, "My heart hurts for those hurt in the Boston Marathon.  My heart hurts for Suspect #2.  I pray for forgiveness and redemption in all this. I also wonder who we could love better before they are compelled to harm others.  Love is the most powerful, transformative force."  That is what we need to do people, especially those of us that are Christ-Followers.  Forget gun control laws.  Forget the need to limit student visas.  Those things could be ways to be preventive, but its not the true answer.  Instead, let us love one another the way Christ loved us.  When we love like Christ, we introduce people to Him.  When we introduce people to Him, His love changes them.  Let's go out there and be the hands and feet of Jesus to others.  Are we ever going to prevent acts of violence like this again?  No.  We live in a fallen world.  But that doesn't mean the enemy has to win.  Love will win every time.  We just have to be willing to show it to others.
3. Fear cannot live when I worship.  I live here in Oklahoma, in fact since I was five years old.  You would think that I would handle severe storms well and be like other Okies and out watching or amateur storm chasing.  For this girl, its an absolute no way.  I'm pretty sure the fear comes from when I was in kindergarten and there was a tornado while I was at school.  We had to go out into the hallway and duck and cover.  I have no idea if it actually touched down anywhere, but I do remember the fear and panic of something bad happening and I wasn't with my mom.  Then when I lived in Kansas for grad school, I learned the mental security you have by having a basement to go into in your house.  You aren't hiding out in a closet, hoping that you will survive. Last spring as I was driving home from school, I had to out drive some nasty weather, sobbing the entire way.  So on Wednesday when the meteorologists were predicting the tornadopoolza, I immediately was filled with anxiety.  But instead of living in that feeling, I turned on some worship music and read through Mark 4, where Jesus calms the storm and I began praying for God's protection and comfort.  And that peace that passes all understanding came over me.  I am so safe in my Savior's arms.  He will be a shield and my strength.  He will comfort me and sustain me.  The storms changed and God protected us all.
4. As I am writing this, I sit pondering all the things that have happened in the news this week: earthquakes around the world, including here in Oklahoma (where I woke up, registered that it was an earthquake and then went back to sleep.  Twice.); the Boston Marathon Bombing, the tragedy out at the Texas fertilizer plant, the sickness of family, friends and co-workers' families, the Gosnell trial (absolutely sickening), I found myself wondering when it would all be enough.  When would Jesus come back and make things right?  Haven't we all had enough?  And then He brought to mind the images of my students in my class and this verse:  "Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."- Matthew 9:37.    Yes, my heart can be overwhelmed with the fallen nature of this earth.  But my focus is to be in the now, in the present.  And we are still here, still put on this earth to do the good works that He has prepared for us to do in advance.  I need to wake up each morning to be that worker, to be out there, sharing God's love and truth and fighting against the darkness.  
5. I woke up every morning this week with the chorus of "Ho Hey" by the Lumineers in my head:  "I belong to you, you belong to me, my sweetheart."  Such a pleasant song to have stuck in my head!

Well, that is a few of the thoughts running through my head this week.  I'm hoping things settle down and my mind takes a little bit of a vacation!!