Walls Around Your Heart

     Walls are good.  Walls keep things separated and keep things out.  Walls provide protection and security.  Even in the Bible, Proverbs tells us to guard our hearts.  That verse always made me think of building a wall like this around your heart.  God clearly wants us to have boundaries around our hearts to help us stay living a life that is pleasing to Him.  

     What I think happens, and what God has CLEARLY shown me lately is that some of my walls I have are not His walls for holy living, but rather walls I have created to keep myself safe.  God has shown me that those walls are my feeble attempt at a way to protect myself from getting hurt by people or situations.  You see, we all get wounded in life.  I think for me, wounds from other people hurt the most, whether they intentional meant to hurt me or not.  I know part of that comes from the way God designed me as a "Feeler-Type" personality.  When wounds like that happen, I tend to erect the wall faster than you can count to three and then after that, no one can tread inside.  I protect myself as best as I can to avoid hurt.  But who is keeping that wall intact?  Me.  Who build the wall? Me.  Why did I built that wall?  Well, basically because I don't trust.  I don't trust others.  And, as much as it sickens me to type this, a lack of trust in God. 

     There is this lovely lady I work with at my school.  She is so wise and sweet.  She has this comforting sounding Southern accent.  And of course, she gives the best hugs.  In fact, I consider it a "superdeduper" day if I see her and get a hug.  She said something a few weeks ago that I know Jesus wanted me to hear in deconstructing these walls.  She said, "The Lord doesn't allow something to happen in our lives that hasn't passed through the throne room of Grace first."  Go ahead, you know you want to write that down.  God has really shown me in the past couple of months that same concept over and over again.  He is in control of my life.  He doesn't promise a trouble free life, but rather that when trouble comes, I can take heart in Him.  He will use all things for His glory in my life.  If I get a wound, God can heal it and turn it around for His good.  I cannot rely on myself for protection, but rather, instead depend on God to protect me.  He will bring people and circumstances into my life that will make more into His masterpiece, His design of Amy.  Because of this revelation, I have slowly taken down the walls I built to keep my heart safe and leaving His walls in tact. I'll admit, I am afraid on what is on the other side of these walls.  But I know that as I keep holding onto my Savior's hand, He will lead me in the best way.  And if things happen and I get a wound, guess what?  Jesus is still right there beside me, healing me and loving me all the way home.