Matchmaker Monday: It may be weird, because normal is not working...

Wow.  I got a lot of response to last week's blog about profile pictures of men while online dating!  I had no idea it was going to be quite the subject when I wrote it!  Out of that post, I have had a lot of real life conversations about my actual approach to online dating, so I thought I would share what I was doing.  I will preface this post by saying that THIS WAY is how God is leading ME.  It may not be what God leads you to do.  That is where you pray and seek Him.  Also, if you aren't a Christ-Follower, all of this is going to sound weird.  But, as my pastor says, "We are going to be weird because normal isn't working."  For me, normal didn't work at all.

First off, I have to admit this:  I like to get my money's worth at all times.  If I pay for a meal and the quality is substandard, I probably will not visit your restaurant again.  If I buy a shirt and the threads come out of the seam quickly, well, I probably won't buy a shirt there again.  To me, if I am paying for something, and paying a higher dollar amount, I expect something for the money.  Now, online dating can be tricky because you can pay for something, but not have the desire result.  However, I do find it more reasonable to pay $35.00 a month for a service with about 5-7 good connections vs. $70.00 for no connections.  Now, because I've paid for a service, I feel like I should use the service.  Equal opportunity for me to wink, smile, and e-mail away.  I figured we are all in this together, so if I see someone I'm interested in, I'll take a bit of the initiative.  Men shouldn't be intimated or scared off, because again, we are BOTH paying for the service and I'm not going to let my service go unused if I'm just waiting for a man to contact me.

Since May that was my approach.  I did get a few responses, in fact, when I counted it up, I was "meeting" a new man every week for the past two months.  A lot more contact than normal, especially since I'm a kindergarten teacher and I have yet to meet a single man in my line of work.  (I mean one that is available for dating, not literally a single man.)  However, these connections usually fizzled out very quickly.  I was becoming frustrated and felt like I started to see the same people over and over.  And the other quality men I didn't initially contact were gone.  I took about a two week break, praying and seeking God on what to do next.

After much prayer, here is my approach.  It sounds radical and like I'm not getting my money's worth.  But I feel like it is allowing God to move in the way He wants.  And it is getting me to practice waiting on Him and trusting Him.  I have my profile up, it is active, but I'm not initiating.  I will wait for a wink, like, or email and then respond.  I'm not spending time searching for men, but rather waiting, and trusting if this is the way God has designed my husband to meet me, then it will happen.  I'll be honest, for some one who likes to do things and also likes getting their money's worth, it is difficult.  I want to log on and search, etc., just so I feel like I'm getting my $35.00 for the month.  However, like the verse in Isaiah, God tell us that His ways are higher.  I'm going to trust Him.  Plus, this removes me from the equation, so if something does happen, He gets 100% of the glory, as it should be.

Weird, right?  I know it is.  But I'm ok with standing out and being different.  And if I do meet someone this way, then as I said before, what a testimony to God working in my life.  And if I don't, then that is ok too.  God is still good and I will have learned to go deeper in my trust.