Soulful Sunday: Who loves you?

Patience, pt.2

Raise your hand if you took a Griswold-style road trip that never seemed to end? I think the most of us have. I'll never forget in college, we road tripped it out West for a conference in a church "people mover." You know what a people mover is, its that second vehicle the church owns that is one step up from a van but not quite the luxury of a chartered bus. My friend, Miss A, and I sat in the very back of the people mover. Everything was fantastic until we hit the hot Arizona desert. Suddenly the back of the mover was HOT. The Dora video that was playing for our campus pastor's children became super annoying. People were getting cranky. Everyone wanted to get off as soon as possible. I'll never forget getting to the church in San Diego that was our stop for the night and feeling so thankful I was free from the people mover. I was glad we had reached our destination.

     In the Bible, we read about Noah and his long trip on the ark with his family and the animals. Until this year, I always thought Noah and crew were only on the ark the forty days and nights. But when we read Genesis 7&8 carefully, we see God made it rain for forty days and nights. Noah was actually on the ark for 230 days before he sent out the raven to see if dry land appeared. Then, almost 100 days after that, Noah and his family were allowed to leave the ark. If you've crunched the numbers with me, you can see Noah was on the ark for 330 days, almost an entire year!! Talk about the world's longest road trip! And the patience needed to endure it! I would have gone crazy! I think after the dove came back with the olive branch, I would have tried to climb out of the ark to get away from the zoo and even to get a break from family! But not Noah or his family. They remained steadfast in patience until the time God appointed them to leave the ark. 

    Are you there with what you are waiting for? Can you almost see God's promise for you being fulfilled? You have received that long awaited job offer, but you still have to finish out a month left to your current job. Perhaps you finally can see the degree you've worked on in sight, but you have six more months of classes. Maybe you're getting married soon and you are just ready for life to begin together, but you have a month left before that happens. It's hard to have patience and wait when you can see the promised dreams are going to be soon fulfilled. In fact, it's probably even more tempting at this point to take matters into our own hands and rush the dream along. 

     Noah's story teaches us this. Even though it may look like its time for the promise or dream to be fulfilled, we must still exercise patience and wait on God's timing. Even though the dove brought back an olive branch, signaling the receding waters, Noah doesn't leave the ark. When he sends out the dove and it doesn't come back, Noah still doesn't leave the ark.  Instead, he waits. Then God has him remove the covering of the ark. Noah can see the land dry. The promise of God is about to be fulfilled. Does Noah gather everyone up and lead the praise procession off the ark? Nope. Noah waits 57 more days. Finally, God gives him the go ahead to leave the ark.

     God has a specific time and purpose to what He calls us in life to do. God wants to fulfill those promises and dreams, but in HIS time, not ours. It can be hard to be patient and wait when we we are so close to realization, but that is when we need to look to Him and ask for a spiritual renewal of patience. Don't give up and rush ahead. Instead, like Noah, stop, wait, pray, and listen. And when the green light happens, run after that promise or dream with utter abandonment, knowing God is right there cheering you on. He has removed the obstacles, so that when you get to that dream, it is smooth sailing! And just like when you feel relief and thankfulness after a long road trip, stop and do what Noah and his family did, they stopped and built an altar for sacrifice and thanksgiving to God. You have finally received what you have waited for...be grateful.

Patience, Pt. 1

These past two weeks were filled with my impatient heart. It all started on Mother's Day at church. I cannot tell you how many people wished me a "Happy Mother's Day." I smiled and just nodded, accepting the greeting. I didn't have the heart to correct them and just tried to take it as God reminding me of future plans and dreams. I wish that would have been the end of the impatience, but like the Fib in "Larry-Boy and the Fib Monster from Outer Space," the impatience grew and grew, fueled by many circumstances. Creating an odd number at dinner one night. If only I was married, it would have been an all even number and we would have had better seating arrangements. Wearing my new pink dress for kindergarten graduation and having my mom say, "Where's that guy to take you to dinner in that dress?" Bursting out singing "All the Single Ladies" as a joke and then hearing, "you're the total package, who wouldn't want you in their life." Even being offered to have an eHarmony membership paid for me. All these things added up to a huge spirit of impatience and discontentment. Finally the impatience monster exploded after I prayed about all these things and I felt God lay on my heart one word: patience. Really God? Um, in case you forgot, I'm over 30 now. Patience? God, what do you think I've been doing? Patience? God, even all the "newer" people in my Lifegroup are getting married and I'm just that old, single schoolteacher of the group.

After my impatience explosion and some wise council from my accountability partner, I prayed again. God said patience again. (You have to love the consistency God has with us. He never changes.) Ok, God, I'll be patient. Then I saw this tweet from Christine Caine: "You have fought too hard, too long & come too far to give up, go back or crumble now! Having done all else, STAND!" Ok, God, I'll continue to stand in patience for You. I will stand in your patience for your best and your timing.  I will not crumble under my impatience.

This morning, during my quiet time, I looked up verses about patience in the Bible. After all, if I'm going to stand in patience, then I better have God's word as my foundation. So, my next few blog are going to be about patience in His word-and how we can take that truth and stand on it.

Part of me sighed with a heavy heart after I finished this morning. I wish I would have sought His patience sooner. It hasn't been like He hasn't tried to get my attention in that way for the past two weeks. I wish I could have dived into His truth to have peace wash over me. But God knew I was going to be impatient, and actually it feels sweeter to come to Him with the brokenness of  impatience and to let Him bind it up.  It makes me think of a child falling, scraping their knee, and then running to a parent to fix the boo-boo.  Often the child ends up in the parent's lap, in an intimate loving embrace. That is where I am, letting God fix my skinned knee impatience caused, holding me in tightly in His embrace, as He whispers to me that His patience will sustain me until His appointed time for my dreams to become a reality to give Him the most glory.  He truly loves us with a great love.

30th Birthday...The Birthday I Just Keep Celebrating...

I'm just not normally into my birthday.  I think that since it falls on Memorial Day weekend and was after school was out, it was always hard to plan parties.  I can remember one time, I invited some friends of mine when I turned 13 to a slumber party but they couldn't come because they were going to the lake or a softball tournament.  I was really sad because I thought those girls were good friends of mine. But God has been healing this wound.  Greatly in the past year.  Now I can look at my birthday and laugh with joy because that is when God let me enter the world.

Last April/May, Miss LE and my mom organized a 30th birthday countdown.  Everyday, for 30 days leading up to my birthday, I received a small gift.  For example, on day 16, I received 16 ounces of Coke Zero.  It was so much fun and I felt so loved...definitely not forgotten by my friends.  Fast forward to six months ago, back in November, my class at OCS celebrated my half birthday!  I felt so silly until it actually happened!  My class was so excited!  My sweet homeroom mom organized this super cute project where the class filled out a page about me to them.  It was so perfect and something I will treasure forever.  Now that we are in the month of May, the class was getting excited again.  My principal honored me with wearing the "Birthday Tiara" and a cupcake last Thursday.  The class was so happy for me!  Many of the little girls tried to sneak hugs when I sat down so they could touch the tiara.  They said I looked like a princess.  I won't lie, wearing it all day brought out the ballerina in me, and made me walk taller all day long.  At the end of the day, they all serenaded me with "Happy Birthday," including cha-chas.  It didn't matter that we did this six months before, all that matter was that it was birthday time again!

Now, with my birthday coming in 14 days, I have to look back on this year and smile.  When I was 19 and imagining I was 30, I never would have imagined my life where I am right now.  There are still dreams and hopes that are currently on hold, while I wait on God.  However, could I have felt more loved?  I have felt so loved and special this year not only by the beautiful people around me, but by my Father, the one who created me.  He has truly reminded me that I am his beloved, his beautiful daughter who is a princess.  I am a masterpiece who has good works to do for God to make His glory known.  I can walk around feeling delighted in everyday because that is what He does.  No more feeling ashamed or embarrassed about my birthday.  No more feeling disappointed.  Instead, I will embrace my special day and let myself be celebrated.  After all, it is what God does to me everyday, showering me with His graceful gifts.

I Love to Laugh

(If you don't know this movie or this song, then I'm not sure we can be friends!  "I Love to Laugh," Mary Poppins, 1964)

     I love to laugh.  It is why I pick most of my friends.  If you make me laugh, I'll probably be your friend.  BUT, if you let me act ridiculous around you, then I'll be your friend for life.  Last week, I posted about my Aunt Milda and her love of laughter.  I'd like to think that is who inspired me to always look for laughter!  In fact, those 'qualities-I-want-in-a-spouse' list always has sense of humor under devout Christian.  After all, you spend you're going to spend a lot of time with that person, so you better be able to laugh.

    On this journey of being pursued by God, I've experienced lots of things that have made me smile, but nothing like the out and out laughter of this week.  Tuesday, our kindergartners went to the science museum.  Now while I enjoy a good museum, it was so much fun to see and hear it with the eyes of a child.  I cracked up as I experinced a "tornado" and "solved" a crime, all while being led around by some of my students.  I laughed at the kids who got to "launch" into space!  Everything was fun and exciting. Wednesday, I had to stifle my laughter when one of my student inadvertently  made me crack up during Bible. Thank you for giant Bible pictures to hide behind.  Thursday, I had to deal with a real-life "Kindergarten Cop" scene, as well as humor some faux glasses wearers.  At tutoring this week, I have had so many chuckles and laughter. My lifegroup always brings a smile to my face, especially when we all speak before we think! Then I was cracking up with Miss LE on the phone while joking with her that her future son should be named Ulysses.  God definitely has pursued me with laughter and humor this week and I've delighted in every moment!
    I know none of the above mentioned items probably made you laugh or smile.  In fact, a lot of it is a total you-had-to-be-there moment.  However, I encourage you to go out and laugh!  Go find what what makes you smile!  Crack up so hard that you snort or cry or my favorite: BOTH!  Look for the humor and sing with me, "I love to laugh...hahahahaha!" Just like Mary Poppins and her crew rose to new heights, so can you too!  

Proverbs 17:22

The Message (MSG)

22 A cheerful disposition is good for your health;

    gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.

Soulful Sunday

I'm pretty much in love with this song...It sounds exactly how my heart feels about Jesus right now!

Pursued by Love

One of my favorite books is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I read it back as a freshman in high school, loving the determined pursuit of Elizabeth's heart by Mr. Darcy.  He gently wins her heart by being a servant and loving her despite the fact both were very prideful to one another.

Lately, God has been reminding me of my own selfish pride. I was reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. She says, "...impatience is the fruit of pride." I was blown away by conviction of the root of my impatience. I am impatient because I am not trusting in the Lord's timing and due to my pride, think I know better. My flesh wants to be a "do"er, while God is asking me to be a "wait"er. If I wait on His timing, He will give me what is the best for me.

Back to P&P. God has also been very clear to me that he wants me to learn how to be pursued. He wants me to accept it when He chases after me with His great love. The only way that can happen is if I lay down my pride and humble my heart. Then God can pursue me on a deeper level and continue to gently win my heart each day,  Imagine that,  the Servant King, always loving me purely and covering me with grace. Sounds too good to be true.  I'll admit, my pride doesn't want to allow myself to be pursued, especially by God because I think I don't deserve it.  It is true that I don't...BUT GOD wants me.   He wants me more than I could ask or imagine.  With that,  God has been also very clear to me that as I learn to be pursued by Him, it will open the way in my heart for that Godly warrior He is preparing for me to do life with.  God has shown me that I can't be pursued by my future two if I am not even letting God in all my heart.  So, I lay me down, take away my pride...pursue me Lord, pursue me. I will wait for You each morning and evening.  Let me be surrounded in your amazing love.