Patience, Pt. 1

These past two weeks were filled with my impatient heart. It all started on Mother's Day at church. I cannot tell you how many people wished me a "Happy Mother's Day." I smiled and just nodded, accepting the greeting. I didn't have the heart to correct them and just tried to take it as God reminding me of future plans and dreams. I wish that would have been the end of the impatience, but like the Fib in "Larry-Boy and the Fib Monster from Outer Space," the impatience grew and grew, fueled by many circumstances. Creating an odd number at dinner one night. If only I was married, it would have been an all even number and we would have had better seating arrangements. Wearing my new pink dress for kindergarten graduation and having my mom say, "Where's that guy to take you to dinner in that dress?" Bursting out singing "All the Single Ladies" as a joke and then hearing, "you're the total package, who wouldn't want you in their life." Even being offered to have an eHarmony membership paid for me. All these things added up to a huge spirit of impatience and discontentment. Finally the impatience monster exploded after I prayed about all these things and I felt God lay on my heart one word: patience. Really God? Um, in case you forgot, I'm over 30 now. Patience? God, what do you think I've been doing? Patience? God, even all the "newer" people in my Lifegroup are getting married and I'm just that old, single schoolteacher of the group.

After my impatience explosion and some wise council from my accountability partner, I prayed again. God said patience again. (You have to love the consistency God has with us. He never changes.) Ok, God, I'll be patient. Then I saw this tweet from Christine Caine: "You have fought too hard, too long & come too far to give up, go back or crumble now! Having done all else, STAND!" Ok, God, I'll continue to stand in patience for You. I will stand in your patience for your best and your timing.  I will not crumble under my impatience.

This morning, during my quiet time, I looked up verses about patience in the Bible. After all, if I'm going to stand in patience, then I better have God's word as my foundation. So, my next few blog are going to be about patience in His word-and how we can take that truth and stand on it.

Part of me sighed with a heavy heart after I finished this morning. I wish I would have sought His patience sooner. It hasn't been like He hasn't tried to get my attention in that way for the past two weeks. I wish I could have dived into His truth to have peace wash over me. But God knew I was going to be impatient, and actually it feels sweeter to come to Him with the brokenness of  impatience and to let Him bind it up.  It makes me think of a child falling, scraping their knee, and then running to a parent to fix the boo-boo.  Often the child ends up in the parent's lap, in an intimate loving embrace. That is where I am, letting God fix my skinned knee impatience caused, holding me in tightly in His embrace, as He whispers to me that His patience will sustain me until His appointed time for my dreams to become a reality to give Him the most glory.  He truly loves us with a great love.