"Good Bible Study" Christian Girl

Philippians 3: 4-11
If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.

7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

I've lived my life as the "good-Bible Study" Christian girl.  According to Christian Legalism, I've dotted every i and crossed every t.  I've never done drugs or smoked.  I've kept my promise that I made to God on my True Love Waits Card.  I have never lived the "Girls Gone Wild" lifestyle.  I did these things thinking that God would love me more than anyone and I would be covered with His favor and blessings.  But I know now that all those things are pure trash.  They are fluff in God's eyes.  I come to the cross as my true self, one who is insecure, prideful, frustrated from trying to control, and independent.  I come as the person who hides her heart away so it doesn't get hurt.  I come as the person who can be afraid to make a decision because of the fear of doing the wrong thing.  When I come to Christ in this manner, and present to Him, not my good works, but my brokenness, I truly experience His love in a deep way. I know He loves me for who I am, the person he formed in my mother's womb 30 years ago.  He has great plans for me, a future that is more than I could ever dream to imagine.  My heart becomes full as I allow His sweet words to heal my hurts and my pain.  My eyes become open  to His power and blessings in my everyday life.  I can sit in His presence and not worry that I'm being that "good-Bible Study" girl.  I can draw on His strength everyday and watch him do the impossible in my life.  Our God is that great and wonderful and powerful and is using everyday to help us become more like Him.